10 great things to do during this down time

Hey, Student Leader. Bored yet?

You've opened your gifts, and you've seen three movies at the theaters since you got home. Saturday night with your high school friends proved that one night with them is sufficient. What are you going to do this week other than watch Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin on CNN Thursday night?

Here are 10 useful ideas.

10. Connect with your mentors. You know... those people you always turn to when you're in the ditch but who get very little love from you when everything's going well? Yeah, those people. How about sending them a note, letting you know what's going on in your life and wishing them a happy new year. Maybe you could thank them for always being there for you.

9. Read something that isn't a text book. Get thyself to the library or to Barnes and Noble, and pick up something engrossing that you can spend a little time with this week. Maybe a biography of someone who's been successful in your chosen field? Or perhaps just a fun, trashy book. Just because you don't have to read, doesn't mean you shouldn't.

8. Set some goals for the second half of the academic year. This quiet time, away from the daily pressures, is a great time to evaluate the progress of your year and make some midstream adjustments.

7. Spend some time with a loved one. Take grandma out for breakfast. So sale shopping at Bass Pro Shops with your dad. Spend some time with the people in your life who willingly take a back seat 96-percent of the time. We'll be dead soon, and you'll wish you'd paid attention to us instead of texting 2,000 times with your college friends.

6. Brush up the resume. Before you know it, you'll be looking for that summer job or internship. Work on the resume now, while you have time to do it thoughtfully.

5. Choose three charities and send them each a tiny donation. This is something many of us out here in the real world with real world taxes do the last week of each year. Even if it's only $5 or $10 each, pick three charities that deserve your support, and write them a little check. It's a good habit to get into now, and charities are having a rough year. Every little bit helps. Here are three that I gave to this year, if you need some ideas: here, here, and here.

4. Make a dental appointment. Seriously, when's the last time you had those things cleaned? Your mom and dad will be impressed, too.

3. Clean your car. That thing is disgusting. You can go to the car wash to clean the exterior, but do the interior yourself. Change out the CD's in there. Clean out the junk in your glove box. Use some glass cleaner on those windows. Starting the new year with a clean car is good for the soul.

2. Box up high school. It's time to put the past where it belongs... in boxes in the basement or in the trash can. OK, you can save the pictures, but really... that stupid glass from 10th grade Homecoming? Time to go. If you carry more than 2 boxes of junk from high school with you past college graduation, you've got problems. Plus, Mom would probably really like to start using your room as a guest room anyway, and that Gnarls Barkley poster ain't helpin'.

1. Go to the gym, every day until you have to go back to school. Personal health is found in the establishment of routines. Maybe if you go every day between now and the drive back to school you'll be a bit more motivated to make time for the gym when the semester starts. The gym is a great escape from the stresses of daily life, and you could probably use more of those opportunities in the course of your hectic semester. Take this week to remind yourself of how good it feels to run for 30 minutes, swim a lap, or play basketball with strangers.

And yes, I know, I need to do #1 myself. Yes, I know.

Have a terrific new year.

The easiest way to make someone feel important

I have a teenage son, and navigating the ever-changing norms of that relationship is a constant challenge. Can I ask about the girlfriend, or can't I? Do I praise the B on the test, or ask if he is disappointed? It never ends, and I seldom get things just right.

When you have a teenager, the most precious resource is his undivided attention, and you never get it. The iPod, the PSP, the cell phone – they all outrank me.

Yesterday, I drove him to school. He normally takes public transportation, so this was an unusual morning where we had 15 minutes together in the car for some real conversation. It didn't have to be anything serious or deeply meaningful, but I was excited about it.

We were barely out of the driveway when he began texting his girlfriend. I'd ask him a question, and he wouldn't hear me. I finally asked if he would put the phone away so we could talk. Competing for attention with a teenage boy's girlfriend is a sad and desperate battle, but I loaded my guns.

"What's so important?" he asked with a tone. "Nothing in particular," I said. "It would just be nice if you could put the phone away and focus on me for the next 15 minutes. You can focus on her the rest of the day."

He did well for almost a mile, but the vibrating in his pocket was too much to bear. "Don't do it," I said to him as I saw his hand move toward his pocket. He resisted, and resisted, and then had to look. "Two seconds, Dad," he said as his fingers began their task.

Then, I did something very mature. I just shut down and didn't talk to him the rest of the way to school. I was annoyed because he had made me feel unimportant. All I wanted was his undivided attention for a couple of minutes, and he absolutely could not provide it.

Why am I writing about this on my student leadership blog? Because I believe that giving someone your undivided attention has become the most rare and glorious form of respect. Have you ever been talking to someone at a bar or party, thinking you're making a connection, and they are busy looking over your shoulder at everyone else? You know how crappy that makes you feel? Don't be that person. Focus on who's in front of you.

And, let me be clear... it's not just the young people with their constant addiction to glancing at their phones. Us "old folks" are getting just as bad.

The other day, I was on a short phone call with a colleague who works in a busy student affairs office. He called me to set up a speaker, but about 20 seconds after we started talking, he said, "Hold on." I could then hear him shouting to someone in his office and laughing. I can't recount exactly what he said, but as I sat on the other side of the line ignored, I remember thinking, "Wow, that sounded critical." Remember – he called me. For a good 15 seconds, I'm sitting there, waiting for him to focus on the call that he just made.

Put the phone in your pocket. Close the door. Draw the blinds. Put the barriers up so that your cluttered, over-active, attention deficit disordered brain can give the person in front of you your undivided attention for two minutes. Or ten, or 15. Whatever's appropriate.

This holiday, you will probably be home with your family. Lay off the Facebook. Put the cell phone in your room instead of your pocket. Make a conscious decision to give your family and friends the one gift that will truly make them feel special... your undivided attention.

Time to be thankful

At your next meeting, start off with something different. Go around the room, and ask each member to share something for which they are thankful. Whether it's a friendship in the room, something your group has achieved this year, something in their personal life, the approach of basketball season, whatever.

Have your officers go first to set the tone. Sure, there will be a couple of sarcastic, maybe even inappropriate answers as you go around the room, but that's OK. The idea is to focus on the good stuff your members get from being a part of your organization.

If people don't know what to say, they can simply be thankful for being a member, or being alive, or for the opportunity to attend college, or for our men and women serving overseas. Let people know that they can be as personal as they want to be, or not personal at all.

Want to make it even better? After going around the room, have everyone write the thing they are thankful for on an index card, and then post those cards somewhere visible. If your group is a housed fraternity or sorority, post them by the front door. If you're a student government, post them in the student activities office. Athletic teams might post them in the locker room, or perhaps post their own card on the outside of their locker. If you're a student life staff member, post them in your break area or on your office doors. Keep that positive energy of thanks and appreciation going.

Today, our intern, Ryan, took a bulletin board and cut out a bunch of turkeys, putting the name of a staff member on each one. He then distributed five paper "feathers" to each staff member and asked them to write something they were thankful for on each feather. Staff members are busy right now putting their feathers on their birds. It was a really nice way to end our week here.

Sometimes, we get so bogged down by the challenges in our organization or in our workplace that we forget to note the simple things that make being in college and being a student leader wonderful. Give your members the opportunity to express what your organization means to them, and how the relationships they make there affect them.

"Approaches to Creating a Veteran-Friendly Campus"

Following up on my posting last week about programs for veterans on your campus...

Here is a webinar called "Approaches to Creating a Veteran-Friendly Campus."

http://www.naspa.org/programs/veterans.cfm

In my mind, this is a critical issue for student affairs professionals. I know no one involved in the webinar. It's $79 for students and $179 for professionals who are members of NASPA, ASCA, or ACUHO-I.

Make changes now to avoid endless elections

If you are that rare and beautiful student organization that has an efficient and effective elections process, then skip this entry. If you're one of the majority of student organizations that has an elections process that's as much fun as a root canal, this is for you.

If it takes you longer than a 2-hour meeting to elect new officers, you should start working now to implement some changes to improve your process. Some people love a long and drawn-out election meeting, but the rest of us (with a life) think it's dreadful. Dreadful. Dreadful.

First, a note. I hate the concept of "slating" officers. I think it's unfair and suggests that a small group of people know better than the entire group being led. I am a fan, however, of having qualifications for those running for office (grade point averages, first and foremost), and having a process by which people become candidates. But, if four people want to run for Treasurer, I think all four should be given a chance to throw their hats in.

Here are my suggestions. Your advisor might have many more.

1. Make people register their candidacy at least two weeks in advance. Knowing who is running for offices allows the necessary conversations to happen before the election meeting. A little campaigning is a good thing. Maybe even offer some informal gatherings where people can ask the candidates questions. The two-week registration forces people to be thoughtful about running, but it also allows people to approach each candidate to ask questions. Better that they do that informally, person-to-person, than during an 8 hour elections marathon meeting. I think a group organically vetting its candidates is more fair than a slating process which is almost always biased.

2. If people want to run for multiple offices, let them file candidacies for all of those positions. Chances are, someone who puts his name in the hat for multiple offices won't be elected to any of them. You'll need to decide on a process for how you'll handle it if a person wins more than one office. For example, letting the person choose which office she wants then having a run-off for the other office she won. This might require a bylaw change, so think it through.

3. Allow the candidates to submit a written statement (200 words or less) that outlines their qualifications, their motivations for running, and their priorities if elected. Or, do it as a 3-5 point questionnaire that each candidate can fill out with brief answers. Then, distribute these to all members via website or some other means at least a week in advance of the meeting.

4. At the elections meeting, allow each candidate to nominate someone to speak on their behalf for 2 minutes. Or, allow the candidate him/herself to speak for 2 minutes. You do not need to allow time for people to speak "against" candidates. That's counter-productive. All the negatives will have circulated informally in the two weeks proceeding. Your elections should not be a vehicle for ripping people down or discrediting their leadership talents or motives.

5. If you have more than 8 officers, elect them in two batches: your top four officers at the first elections meeting, then the others at the subsequent meeting. This beats one long, draining meeting.

6. Knowing your candidates in advance allows you to do ballots which can be done at the conclusion of your elections meeting. You don't need to do voting for each office independently – that's a giant time suck.

There are probably lots of other ideas people have on how to streamline elections. If you have one, email it to me, and I'll feature it in a future posting.

My main point, however, is that if your elections are a draining, monotonous, exhausting process, then you need to start laying some groundwork NOW to make it better. If you need to make changes to your constitution or bylaws to improve the process, now is the time to do it.

Elections for many organizations are a month or so away, so take the initiative immediately to improve your process.

Soldier Send-offs, a great program idea

While at the University of Wisconsin Stevens Point last week, I had the opportunity to speak to the president of their Veterans Club. I haven't come across many of these groups, but I imagine that after nearly a decade of wars in both Iraq and Afganistan, we're going to be seeing many more on campuses across the country.

I asked him what sort of events his group does, and he told me that their most successful event of the year was a Soldier Send-off. Basically, they gathered a bunch of the men and women who were soon to ship off for the Middle East and they did a big celebration event for them. They invited local veterans, families with loved ones serving, and the families of those about to be deployed. Then, they invited other groups on campus to come support their student soldiers. He said that turn-out was fantastic.

As part of the event, they also gave out lists of students who were currently serving in the military and several organizations "adopted" a student soldier. Presumably, the groups would then send care packages and notes of encouragement and support to their fellow students serving overseas.

I know an amazing idea when I hear one. How wonderful it would be if campuses all around the country held similar events to honor the men and women in their student body who have served, are preparing to serve, and who are away from campus, serving currently. It's an event that every organization on campus could get behind.

Wednesday, November 11 is Veterans Day, and a perfect opportunity to plan something of this nature. You might also check with your athletic department to see if they will be doing any sort of veteran-focused half-time observance the Saturday before or after Veterans Day (many do) and see if you can add something to that event.

Act your age

This one is for the alumni out there.

I want to tell you about a little journey I've been taking. When you're a professional speaker, you go through a sort of progression. In my 20's, I was all about "being one of them" to the students. I wanted to dress like them, look their age, and speak on their level. I could talk about sex and dating, for example, and the students were right there with me.

It got harder as I neared 30, but fortunately, I was usually able to pull it off most of the time. A well-placed reference to that summer's big teenage movie (I specifically remember forcing myself to watch "Road Trip") worked wonders. Even as my life started to move toward more mature, adult things like financial planning, buying a house, and having a kid – I worked hard to make sure I didn't lose touch with the student set. It was definitely an act, though. I couldn't keep up with their musical tastes, and I didn't want to. I didn't think getting drunk three nights a week was normal, anymore, and I wasn't laughing along with the stories of idiotic behavior. I was getting a little "judgey."

Another funny thing – I had to stop talking about sex and dating altogether. I couldn't even make casual references. College students are repulsed by the idea that anyone over 35 has sex, ever. Take my word for it – students groan and squirm in their seats at the slightest suggestion.

Now, I'm 40, and it's over. I'm their dad. As a professional speaker in my 40's raising a teenager of my own, I've had to morph into something much different than I was 15 years ago. In 15 years, I went from being one of them, to being their cool older brother, to being an ancient relic. When I tell fraternity audiences that I was initiated in 1987, before they were born, they look at me like I'm one of their founders.

I had to embrace the fact that students were seeing me differently, and I needed to stop trying to be their cool buddy. I had to rewrite my programs and change all my jokes. I had to speak to them as what I was – a smart adult with something to say. I had something to teach them. I stopped trying to speak at their level, because I was somewhere higher. I had to embrace that.

I write about this, today, because a colleague suggested I write about those alumni who simply haven't learned this lesson yet. They come to events and try to be cool by acting like they are still 22. I cringe when I see them – men in their 40's at campus or leadership events who are trying hard to be "one of the boys."

Dude, you're not 22 anymore. You're not fooling anyone. Enabling the "boys will be boys" crap is counter productive. Oh, and by the way, everyone over 30 in the room thinks you're being a tool.

I've seen a past national president of a fraternity act this way recently. He was ogling young sorority women and saying the most embarrassing things to the younger men as he bought them beer and encouraged their worst behavior. Funny thing was, he thought he was being cool with the young men. I could tell they were laughing at him, not with him. The staff members of his fraternity were in visible pain watching him, unable to stop him.

It was humiliating.

Here's what I wanted to say to him. "You have a lot to offer. Be a role model. Show these young men what they can grow up to be. Stop acting like you stopped maturing around age 24. Show them what manhood looks like."

I'm not saying you have to launch into lectures. I'm not saying you have to be their father.

Just be yourself, and embrace the fact that you can be relevant without being one of them. College students have their own buddies, their own age. They don't need you to fill that gap for them. You can't do it, anyway.

What many students crave are role models and mentors to whom they can relate. Try it. You might like it.

The Dalai Lama on Leadership

I don't read a ton of books on leadership, because I find them incredibly redundant. But, I am enjoying one right now co-written by His Holiness The Dalai Lama called "The Leader's Way." It just came out a week or two ago, and it is written more for business leaders than students. However, it's interesting to me because it brings together the tenets of Buddhism and capitalism – a combination that requires business people to think and be more intentional about their higher purpose in business.

I wanted to share with you one section that I enjoyed in which His Holiness talks about the character of a leader.

Enjoy this excerpt.

Understanding principles and causes. Leaders with character are aware of the duties and responsibilities of their role and of the challenges they face. Leaders should be able to identify the causes of problems and the principles that should be applied to solve them.

Understanding objectives and results. Leaders know the meaning and objectives of the principles they abide by; they understand the tasks they are undertaking; they understand the reasons behind their actions. They know what may be expected in the future as a result of their actions and whether these will lead to a good or bad result. This kind of foresight is important for leaders when they are considering the long-term effects of their decisions on others.

Understanding themselves. Leaders know their strengths, aptitudes, abilities and virtues and are able to correct and improve themselves. They are also aware of their weaknesses and the weaknesses of the (group), and how the (group), in turn, affects its many stakeholder groups. They must be very eager to learn.

Understanding moderation. Leaders practice moderation in speech, work and action. They do not take unnecessary actions merely to satisfy their own egos or accomplish their own ends, but take only those actions that will benefit the organization for which they are responsible.

Understanding the occasion and efficient use of time. Leaders know the proper occasion for actions – what should be done and how – and they perform these actions efficiently. This includes knowing how to plan their time and organize it effectively. Additionally, leaders must have "discernment," the ability to identify the issues that matter most and concentrate on them. It is very important to avoid wasting time on trivial matters.

Understanding the organization. Leaders know that organizations have rules and regulations; they have a culture and traditions; people within them have individual needs that should be dealt with, helped along, and served in the proper way. Good leaders understand not only their own character, but the character of the (group) and their responsibility for developing and nurturing that character, and they should be aware if some aspect of the character needs to be changed.

Understanding people. Leaders know and comprehend differences among individuals. They know how to relate to people effectively, what can be learned from them, and how they should be praised, criticized, advised and taught.

Camp for LGBT college student leaders

Campus Pride annually hosts a summer camp for LGBT student leaders and their campus allies. I've spoken with several students and advisors who have attended in the past, and they absolutely rave about the experience. One person told me that, by far, it was the most meaningful leadership experience she had ever had.

This summer's event will be held at Towson University near Baltimore, Maryland, July 21-26, 2009. It's five days of learning how to make your campus a safer, friendlier place for students of all sexual orientations and gender identities.

You will spend time learning about grassroots coalition building, working with faculty and staff, best practices for campus organizing. And, of course, you will make amazing friends and a network of student leaders facing similar challenges. My understanding is that this camp is appropriate for students from all types of campuses.

You can find more information at: www.campuspride.org/camp.asp

They are offering an early-bird registration fee for those who sign up by April 17. If only they had had something like this back in 1987! Wow!

How to Take a Day Off

Sometimes, what you need more than anything, is a day off. Here are some tips.

• Go away. Get in your car and go somewhere. Doesn't really matter if it's 20 minutes away, or 2 hours away. Just go somewhere else.

• Turn off your cell phone. If that scares you to death, then decide three exact times that you will turn it on to check for texts or voice mails. Forget emails... if it was that crucial, they wouldn't send an email. Promise yourself you'll only respond to texts or voice messages that are legitimately critical (meaning something bad will happen unless you do). Do not log on to Facebook. Turn Twitter off. Disconnect from the matrix.

• Spend time with someone you enjoy. Talk about anything but school and your organization. It's not a day off if you spend the whole day processing every problem you have. Just give it a rest for a day. Force yourself to acknowledge the world outside of the little bubble you're living in.

• Go see someone from whom you've been feeling disconnected. Go see Grandma, or your friend at another school, or your cousin James in prison. Whatever. Spend some time in someone else's life instead of yours.

• Spend it alone, if you like. Just do something that you enjoy. Go fishing, go shopping, go visit that museum you've always wanted to check out. Eat a meal alone and enjoy the time to think. Talk to strangers and laugh a little.

• Treat yourself to something. Eat something really great. Buy the better seat in the basketball arena. Drink the expensive beer. It feels good to reward yourself now and then.

• At some moment of the day when you feel totally relaxed or happy, grab something that will help you remember the moment. Take a picture on your phone. Maybe it will bring a happy relaxing memory sometime when you really need it.

• When you return to campus, don't re-engage the matrix again, right away. Get a good night's sleep with the cell phone off. Don't answer knocks at the door. Let the peace of the day sink in.

Meet Steve Kardian - Expert on campus safety and sexual assault prevention

Lambda 10 releases transgender and Greek resource guide – available for FREE download

I just finished reviewing Lambda 10's Fraternity and Sorority Resource Guide, and I want to encourage all campus Greek advisors to get a copy and spend a little time with it. The guide was co-written by Jessica Pettitt, a member of our CAMPUSPEAK speakers team. I love that the resource guide is titled "Beginning the Conversation..." because I think it helps to accomplish just that.

As issues surrounding gender identity more readily enter the mainstream consciousness, it makes sense for those of us who work with people (young, old, whatever) to broaden our knowledge of transgender issues.

As a person with a strong personal commitment to human dignity and potential, I have been deeply touched by the stories of the transgender men and women I've met in my travels. I've seized numerous opportunities to interact with individuals working through transgender issues, and I find the whole thing fascinating. I can't think of a group that has a harder time in their struggle for rights and acceptance, so the part of me that immediately wants to fight for the underdog is drawn to the issue.

Denver has a very active trans community, and as I've become acquainted with members of that community, I've come to sympathize greatly for the struggles that many of them endure. I recently had a transgender woman come in to speak to my staff to help them better understand what it might be like to be, know, or care about a trans person.

Recently, I visited a school in the deep south, and I was approached by a fraternity president whose chapter was struggling with how to handle a member who was entering the next leg in his transgender journey. It was very emotional for all involved, rife with worries about rejection, abandonment, fear, public image, and values. It's really happening – everywhere – and the issue deserves some careful thought.

Reading the guide, you feel disheartened about how unlikely it is that a young person facing a gender identity crisis would find support and refuge in his fraternity or sorority. But, this guide is an important step toward eventual understanding.

In any case, I want to strongly urge every person who considers themselves a leader in the fraternity/sorority community to take a few minutes to get download a free copy of this guide, give it a quiet Saturday read in the coming months, and give some thought to how you will respond when a young person needs your assistance.

Lighten up a little during election week

Do you have a regularly-scheduled meeting on Tuesday nights? Yeah, you should probably cancel that meeting on November 4.

Election night is a huge cultural phenomenon, and this is the most dynamic election I've seen in my lifetime. It's not a good day/night to expect people to be productive or attentive to anything except the news. Most people will be watching their televisions, standing in long lines to vote, and feeling either elation or disappointment. There's a reason why Election Day is practically a national holiday.

I also think it's a good idea to go easy on the meeting and productivity demands on the day after Election Day. People are nursing a hangover, figuratively or literally. Cancel that Wednesday morning meeting, also.

Take a look at your calendar, and if yours is not a politically-oriented student group, lighten up the schedule for Election Week.

Resumes: What stands out?

I am busy reviewing resumes tonight. There's nothing quite like sitting in front of a stack of 30 resumes to remind you why people get paid good money to do human resources work. It makes my head hurt. As I look through pages and pages, I have very little confidence that the typical resume package tells you any of the things you REALLY need to know about a person you plan to hire. It's a crap shoot, at best.

But, since I just spent the better part of three hours poring through these resumes, I thought it might be worthwhile to share some of my observations. Maybe as you do your job search this year or next, you'll keep a couple of these observations in mind.

I'm sure half of what I'll tell you here flies completely in the face of what they tell you at the career center. But, oh well. I'm the one offering a job today.

• I liked the resume packages that came in the mail better than the ones that came to me via email. They showed more effort and care. I know it's "old school," but I liked the texture of a nice piece of stationery paper that an applicant picked out. I liked that they took the time to assemble a package and mail it to me. You just don't get that in a resume that is sent via email.

• I enjoy a little color when I'm digging through 30 resumes. A few of the packages were a bit more colorful and lively, particularly when it came to the work samples. I liked that.

• Four resumes came without a cover letter. I tossed them. If you can't even bother to write a basic cover letter, then you don't want to work for me. Also, I had a couple whose idea of a cover letter was a three line email that said, "Please find my resume attached..." No, thanks.

• If you don't specifically refer to the position I'm offering and explain why it interested you, then it's obvious that you're applying to 100 jobs, and mine is just one in the pile.

• Several of the cover letters said "Dear T.J.". Hey, if you don't know me, would it kill you to call me "Mr. Sullivan?" I'm not a super-formal guy, but it seems like a good rule of thumb to refer to the person hiring as "Mr." or "Ms." until a level of familiarity is established. And, as for that argument of not knowing whether "T.J. Sullivan" was a man or woman, a quick Google or visit to my company's website would have answered that question.

• I like letters of recommendation a lot, but I like them even more when the person writing explains why you are special. It's not much of a recommendation when they just said you did your job. If you ask people to write letters of rec, make sure they dig you enough to write a letter that makes you sound like a truly amazing person.

• I had one woman who didn't capitalize "I" in her materials. It wasn't a typo. She just hates capital letters, I guess. Of all the ways to show some individuality in a resume package, that's a pretty dumb one.

• Another woman told me her salary qualifications, and they happen to be $20,000 more than what I'm offering. The salary range I'm offering is in the published job announcement. That one was a head-scratcher.

• I really, really like it when people explain in their cover letter why this job interests them. Everyone tells me that they are qualified, would be a good fit, and have lots of special skills. But, I want to know why THIS JOB. How does it fit into your goals, your dreams, your plans for your career?

• Tell me something from your life that you ENJOY. I guess there are career advising types who would tell you to keep the personal stuff out. But, I love it when people tell me they are passionate about water skiing, or writing poetry, or raising guinea pigs. It gives me a glimpse into who you are as a person, and since I'll be working with that person every day, I like these sort of things.

Nominate an anti-hazing hero

Do you know someone – a student, a volunteer, or a professional – who has gone to heroic lengths to combat hazing? Perhaps a team leader who stood up and said, "No!" Maybe a sorority president who changed harmful traditions. Maybe someone who got your college community talking about the issue?

National Hazing Prevention Week is only a couple of weeks away (September 22-26, 2008), and one of my favorite programs sponsored by HazingPrevention.Org is the Anti-Hazing Hero contest. Each year, the organization recognizes individuals who showed courage and determination in standing up to hazing. Each year, they pick some pretty great people of all ages who took a personal stand.

You don't need to do some glorious, complicated nomination. You don't need audio-visuals and a PowerPoint presentation. Just write in and nominate a deserving person, and share the story. You can even nominate yourself (no shame in that!).

You can find the nomination information here.

For all the educational programs, posters, and tragic stories, the real "change" in stopping and preventing hazing comes from individuals of great character who put themselves on the line and say, "Enough!" This is a wonderful way for you to help recognize someone who did that.

Deadline is September 26.

24-hour help available for gay and questioning young people

Our society and our campuses are a lot more gay-friendly than they were a decade ago. People are used to seeing gay characters on TV shows with regular frequency. Most college students say that having gay friends or roommates is not a big deal.

But, we forget that coming out is still a relatively brutal emotional process for a lot of college students. We can't confuse the improving environment with the still difficult individual journey.

According to a 2005 study done by the Massachusetts Department of Education, youth who think they might be gay, lesbian, bisexual or have gender identity issues are four times more likely to seriously contemplate suicide than the average teenager. Every year, I hear about students who have committed suicide on college campuses after struggling unsuccessfully with their sexual orientation. Others turn to alcohol, drugs, or other unhealthy choices to cope with their struggle.

I was excited to learn today that the organization called The Trevor Project now has a 24/7 hotline to help young people struggling with their sexual orientation and/or gender identity. The number is (866) 4-U-TREVOR. They are getting 15,000 calls a year, which is amazing.

Every volunteer working the hotline receives more than 40 hours of training so that they can help identify resources for callers nationwide. Their website also has a confidential Q&A forum that has lots of good reading for folks who feel most comfortable with that sort of research.

It's important that you let young men and women in your campus community know that there are anonymous resources they can turn to, like the Trevor Project. Do your community a favor and make sure that the hotline's number is plastered all over your residence hall, student center, fraternity life office, athletic department and more. Put it on your student organization's websites, even.

If you are part of an LGBT student group, this is a great resource to publicize throughout your campus. There are many young men and women who might never come to your meetings, but who would make a call to anonymously speak to a caring person.

Dove model encourages "Embracing Real Beauty"

In the summer of 2005, six women made national news when they appeared on a Times Square billboard, dressed only in their underwear. While other nearby billboards featured actresses and supermodels, this one, promoting Dove brand products, promoted “real women with real curves,” and the nation went wild. Suddenly, Stacy Nadeau (pictured) emerged as a spokeswoman for healthy body image on the Today Show, CNN, Ellen, Dr. Phil, Tyra, and Oprah (twice).

I am excited to announce that Stacy is joining the CAMPUSPEAK roster and is immediately available for bookings. We just had her in Denver for our biannual speakers training conference, and she's AMAZING. College audiences are going to love, love, love her. Her story of how this ad campaign affected her life and the thousands of letters she got from appreciative women nationwide will inspire you.

In her keynote, Embracing Real Beauty, Stacy speaks to men and women about the role they can play in changing the message that young women receive about body image and beauty. Stacy is a fantastic choice for eating disorders and body image awareness week observances, for women’s conferences, Panhellenic education, new student orientation, and current ideas and issues series.

If you're interested in learning more about bringing Stacy to your campus, call Amy Butler at (303) 745-5545 or email her at butler@campuspeak.com.

Stop saying "First Annual..."

One of the curses of being a journalism major is that you learn a few rules in school that you then can't shake for the rest of your life. One that I've always remembered is this: "Something can't be annual until it's happened twice." Therefore, you can never call something "the first annual..."

I see this all the time when I travel to campuses. It's on a ton of t-shirts. Student leaders get so jazzed by an event they are planning, they just assume that it will be huge, and generations of leaders who follow them will want to make the event a regular thing. Sometimes that happens, sometimes it doesn't.

And when it doesn't, you have all these t-shirts that say "First Annual Pickle Tickle" and there is never a second one.

Here's what you do. When you have a new event and you're very excited about it, just call it "The First..." Drop the "annual." We are proud to announce The First-Ever Pickle Tickle! Then, when your successors do it again, they can call it "The Second Annual Pickle Tickle: Same Dill, Twice the Thrill."

Again, I repeat, nothing is annual until it's happened twice. Got it? Good.

This year, make mental health a programming priority

One quarter of all college students will deal with a diagnosable mental health disorder. Of those, most will not receive any kind of professional help.

Ross Szabo (pictured left) and Colleen Coffey speak for my company on issues surrounding mental health, and they shared this statistic with me this weekend at our biannual company meeting.

Nearly all young people will struggle with a mental health issue, be it stress, lack of sleep, life balance, eating issues, unhealthy responses to grief, or other life events. While these issues affect almost everyone, the topic of mental health and the struggles associated with it, are shrouded in secrecy, misunderstanding, stigma and discomfort.

I brought Ross aboard our agency about five years ago, long before incidents at Northern Illinois University and Virginia Tech focused higher education's attention on the importance of mental health. Back then, I had to beg people to take a chance on booking him. Today, he's one of our busiest and most successful speakers.

I'm proud that Ross has done so much great work for the National Mental Health Awareness Campaign and CAMPUSPEAK. I truly, truly wish that every college student and advising professional could see his presentation. Colleen Coffey (also with NMHAC) joins our roster this year to help meet the demand for programs on this issue, and she's fantastic also.

If you don't have mental health issues on your list of programming priorities, you should be fighting to get it on there. Sure, issues like alcohol abuse and sexual assault prevention are critical, but too many campus limit their programming priorities to these two topics, ignoring the fact that mental health is an issue that crosses into all others. If awareness of mental health issues isn't on your programming priority list, it needs to be.

Many students also struggle with mental health issues in their families. My mother's depression and bipolar disorder shaped my childhood more than almost anything else. It's part of the reason my professional commitment to promoting mental health awareness is so very personal. My younger brother and I spent our childhoods doing everything we could to compensate for my mother's struggles, and we never got any help. We didn't know that anyone else faced these issues, and we never knew there was anywhere to turn for help. We would have given a limb each just to better understand what our mother was going through.

In your capacity as a student leader, or a program advisor, you can help many college students understand that their struggles – or those in their families – are not unique. Best of all, you can help students who feel trapped (like I did) to understand that there are resources to help them end the shame and the fear that surround mental health issues.

The new year is coming. This is your chance.

The downside of nicknames

I had a fraternity brother named "Squirrel." Everyone on campus knew the guy as "Squirrel," and he was very popular. He was very cute, very small, and his hair kind of stood up in the front. If only he had pockets full of peanuts, the name would have been the most perfect nickname in history.

Even our composite listed his name, simply, as "Squirrel."

Fast forward 20 years. We were putting together our reunion mailing list, and we have absolutely no idea what Squirrel's real name was. We searched our composites and our alumni lists, but alas, we could not figure out his damn name. I'm not sure if the committee ever resolved it.

I think his name was Brian. Brian "What?" I absolutely have no idea.

I have a nasty habit of depending on nicknames. The guy who paints my house? Al the Painter. No idea what his real name is. Angie the UPS Woman delivers me several boxes from Amazon.com each week. One of my father's best friends was named "Blue." I had no way to invite him to my dad's funeral.

Speaking of rodents, I have a Facebook "friend" named Beaver. I don't think the guy looks anything like a beaver, so I'm not asking...

I'm making it a point these days to learn first and last names, even for my most casual acquaintances. It's tougher, sure, but it sure makes it easier to find people when you really need them. If you have a cell phone contacts list full of nicknames, you might want to fill in the blanks one of these days.