Chelsea Clinton: Get out of the kitchen, Princess

The Clinton campaign has been sending out former first daughter Chelsea Clinton out to college campuses as a surrogate since the start of the year. By her estimation, she's been to 70 campuses selling her mother's candidacy. This week, Chelsea's campaign activity became news when a student at Butler University asked how former President Clinton's affair with Monica Lewinsky might have affected Senator Hillary's Clinton's reputation and candidacy.

It was a highly legitimate, excellent question. Said affair led to the president's impeachment. It led to the decimation of the final two years of President Clinton's second term. Whether you are a Democrat, Republican, or Independent, it's pretty much accepted fact that the Monica Lewinsky affair was a major national news story and a historical blemish on the Clinton presidency. As much as it might make Chelsea uncomfortable, it's clearly something much larger than a private family problem.

Did the Monica Lewinsky scandal impact Hillary Clinton's reputation? It is a completely legitimate inquiry of Hillary's campaign, which Chelsea – by her own free will – has allowed herself to become a part of. Time to put on your big girl pants, Chelsea.

Somewhere along the way, the protective bubble that protected Chelsea Clinton as a teenage first daughter was artificially extended into her adult life. Would I ask Chelsea about her father's affair at a social function or in a private setting? No, that would be in poor taste. But, if Chelsea, age 28, is going to put herself on the campaign trail as a high profile surrogate, then she needs to get a backbone.

If you can't stand the heat, Chelsea, then please leave the kitchen and return to your hedge fund job in New York City. Chelsea was a guest at Butler University, and when a Butler student asked a tough but legitimate question, she should have shown some moxie and offered a thoughtful response. Instead, she acted like a princess who is entitled to some special brand of selective privacy.

If Chelsea was staying out of the public eye and conducting her life privately and away from the glare of the campaign, then I'd be all for leaving her alone. But, she's chosen otherwise. The political past, present, and future of her parents is completely relevant.

If you are going to go onto a campus for an open question and answer session, then step up. If you can't do it, stay home, because you're not prepared. Students should be respectful, sure, but that doesn't mean students should only lob softballs at the First Princess.

Until Chelsea can engage students as an adult and a true campaign surrogate, she needs to stay home or at least off the nation's campuses where hard-hitting discussion is a treasured tradition.

Superhero Leadership

I visited Texas A&M Corpus Christi this semester during a student leader retreat, and I picked up a handout from their conference on "Superhero Leadership." They did a whole Superhero theme to their conference, which was pretty cute. Anyway, below is the content from the handout. I don't know if someone at TAMUCC created this, or if they took it from someone else. There was no attribution.

I thought it was sufficiently interesting that I stole one of the handouts. So, here it is. Maybe you can use it (or tweak it) for your next leadership retreat or training day. If I find out who created this, I'll definitely update this entry with that information.

By the way, someone needs to explain Aquaman to me. Does that much crime happen below sea level? I'm just asking...

Superhero Leadership

Superhero Leadership is the study of the qualities that are inherent in every "super leader." Some of these qualities may come naturally, whereas others must be developed. Superhero Leadership is not meant only to be studied, but is only useful when put into action!

Strength: Not only do superheroes need physical strength. They also need strength of character.

Courage: It is not easy being a superhero. Even superheroes have good days and bad days. But, superheroes don't give up. They must exhibit the courage to persevere in any circumstance.

Believe: Superheroes must believe in themselves and others. There is a fine line between confidence and cockiness! No one likes a superhero who is his/her own greatest fan! They must also show others that they believe in them to achieve more than they imagine possible.

Dream: Superheroes have goals. Saving the world is not easy, but they take it one day at a time. Dreams require faith, imagination, and the knowledge that they can make dreams come true for themselves and others.

Choose wisely the actions that you take.

Remember that there is nothing wrong with being a sidekick – great leaders empower others and aren't afraid to take the backseat now and then.

Superheroes should always be on the lookout for those in need.

The villains in life may take many forms. They might not always be recognizable.

Even superheroes need to ask for help and need to form alliances to achieve their goals.

And above all, always remember, with great power comes great responsibility!

The case of the finicky cat (a lesson in delegation)

Abdul tells a funny story about a time he was asked to house sit for a friend in Paris. He would watch the friend's apartment and cat for an extended period of time in exchange for a free place to stay. A free place to stay in Paris is a beautiful thing.

Being from Senegal, Abdul was a little unsure about watching the cat. In Senegal, cats are not kept as house pets (his words: "we don't have cats"). His friend assured him that the cat was largely self sufficient. Just give it food, and it will be fine.

The first week ended up being quite stressful for Abdul. The apartment was very nice, and he was adjusting to the situation pretty well. But, the cat was unhappy. It wasn't eating. It was following him around the apartment meowing incessantly. Abdul assumed the cat was missing its owner, but the failure to eat started to worry him by the end of the first week. Each morning, Abdul diligently gave the cat a fresh scoop of food, but the cat wouldn't touch it.

Finally, toward the end of the week, the friend called to check in. "Everything is fine, except the cat won't eat and keeps following me around the apartment crying," Abdul told the friend.

"That's strange," said the friend. "The cat has never failed to eat before."

"I take a scoop out of the bag, put it in the bowl, but the cat won't eat it," Abdul said.

"What bag?" the friend asked.

"The bag with the picture of the cat on it," Abdul replied.

For a week, Abdul had been trying to feed the animal kitty litter. He saw a bag in the kitchen with a big picture of a cat on it, and he thought it was the food.

So, here is the lesson we need to learn from Abdul. We should never assume that our students, our officers, our new members, our newest recruits, or anyone understands what "normal things" need to be done. Sometimes, teaching people the basics is absolutely necessary.

Part of us wants to say, "How can someone not know how to feed a cat?" But, Abdul came from a place without cats. It wasn't his fault. The friend should have made fewer assumptions and should have shown Abdul how to do the job before entrusting her pet's life to him.

Same for you, dear student leader. Sometimes you delegate something to another officer or a younger member, then get frustrated when the job isn't done right. You mutter, "If I want something done right, I need to do it myself!" But, no. You need to invest some time and caring on the front end to make sure a task is handed off correctly. Even when the person says, "Yeah, yeah, I know what to do," smile and show them anyway. Make sure expectations are understood and everyone understands the timing, the tools, and the quality of the outcome expected. By doing so, we set people up for success.

By the way, the cat lived and was fine. A parent of the woman came over immediately to help Abdul identify the actual cat food. Much to everyone's relief, the cat ate, and Abdul learned the true purpose of kitty litter.

The perfect fraternity alumni newsletter

Most fraternity alumni newsletters are pretty lame, especially those that are written and assembled by undergraduates. We haven't done a good job of telling you what we want to read. I want to offer you some practical advice on what makes an alumni newsletter excellent.

First, let's talk about student news. The biggest mistake students make when producing an alumni newsletter is thinking that alumni want to read four pages of columns by student officers about the life of the chapter. I know it's confusing, but I really only want a little bit of this, and I really only want to hear the positive stuff: the awards, the great recruitment numbers, the sports victories, the student members who have been elected to important student leadership positions. Show me you're doing worthy things. Otherwise, I probably don't care. You don't have to describe every single thing you've done this year, and you sure don't have to give me endless paragraphs badly written by chapter officers. Skip telling me how great your parties were. Honestly, if the entire newsletter has 20-percent or less of this sort of stuff, that's fine by me.

So, here are some ideas of what the other 80-percent should be:

Alumni Updates. This is the stuff I care most about. Tell me what my contemporaries are doing. Where are they working? What are their positions? Where do they live? Do they have children? How many and how old are they? What are their email addresses so I can reach out to them? You should assume that I'm completely out of touch with my brothers, and I'm dying for all the fun little nuggets of information you can give me.

Photos. Give me photos of what my brothers look like now (I'm dying to see how old and fat they've gotten!). Get a family photo if possible so I can see if their kids are cute or homely. Show me some pictures from the last alumni event, and encourage brothers to send pictures of the last time they hung out with another brother. Maybe even run some old photos from 10, 20, 30 years ago. Those old photos are a blast to look at, and they bring back great memories.

Wish List. Tell me the 5-10 things that the chapter is wishing for. Need a computer? Need a new sidewalk? And, let me know who I should contact if I can help line up a donation, or if I want to write a check. You'd be shocked how much cool stuff your alumni can get for you if you just make a point of letting them know what you need. Plus, I'm more likely to contribute some money if you show me some good things you plan to spend the money on. I would never contribute to a new bar for the party room, but I would probably donate for a scholarship, new ritual equipment, or to the renovation of the chapter room.

Campus News. Give me just a little bit of this. I'm interested to know if new buildings have been built on campus. Give me a picture of the new library, student center, or rec center. Or, show me the new fraternity house that was built down the street from ours. Tell me which chapters have closed and which new ones have expanded on campus in the last year. Make me feel a little bit connected to the college or the university, because chances are I'm pretty out of touch.

Articles by Alumni. I'd rather read something fun or amusing written by an alumnus than something earnest written by a student. Sorry, but that's the truth. Get alumni to write articles, and you'll boost readership.

Important Dates. The more notice you give me about Homecoming, the better the chance I can plan to be there. It's never too early. List important events for next school year. When you send an alumni newsletter three weeks before Homecoming promoting events, it's too late. I can't be there. You should have told me four months ago.

Current Contact Information. Make sure you always print the names, phone numbers, and email addresses of the chapter president, the chapter advisor, the campus Greek Advisor, the alumni association or club president, the housing corporation president, and any other leaders I might want to reach. If your chapter has a well-maintained website, tell me that also. If you don't maintain it, don't bother telling me about it.

Some National Information. When is convention? Where is it? Who donated last year to the fraternity's foundation? It's easy to get some of this stuff from your national headquarters.

The truth is that the best alumni newsletters have strong alumni involvement. As a student, you can help assemble it, print it, and distribute it. But, when it comes to content, alumni know how to write things that other alumni want to read. If you're a new group that doesn't have many alumni, ask for help from your fraternity's alumni affairs director.

Guilt as a motivator

Imagine you're the president of a student organization, and you have a meeting tonight. You are tired, and you are in a bad mood. You have a paper due in less than 48 hours, and you haven't started. You're hungry, your boyfriend is griping at you because he never sees you. More than anything, you'd like to turn off your phone and fall asleep early.

But, you have this meeting. You are president. Do you go?

Of course you do. You're president, and you can't just blow it off. You might sit there forcing yourself to be pleasant, but you will be there. Your sense of guilt, duty or obligation will motivate you to grab your backpack, take a deep breath, and go.

Guilt is a powerful motivator. It works. Make someone feel obligated to do something, and it's hard for them to refuse. The problem is that it's inherently negative, and it does not build positive feelings toward the user or your organization. You can use it sometimes, but if it's the only tool in your motivational arsenal, you'll end up with a lot of angry, unmotivated members who resent you and your organization.

Some organizations and advisors depend on guilt, duty or obligation as our primary means for motivating their students? We say things like:

"You need to come so you can relay the information to your members" "You volunteered for this, so I expect you to step up and do the job" "You promised to uphold these values, didn't you?" "If you don't do this, who am I going to get to do it?"
Do a little evaluation. Do your members come to your meetings because the gatherings are meaningful and/or fun, or do they only come because they feel obligated? Do your students do the right thing because it's important to them, or simply to avoid the inevitable guilt trip they will get from you if they don't? Do you enjoy leading your organization, or do you have to psyche yourself up just to get the basics of the job done.

If the answers to these questions are yes, then it's time to start motivating your members or students in better, more positive ways.

Image by Mark Nickels. Check out his work here.

Is all this politics talk causing tension and hard feelings?

It's a big year for talking politics. But, is it a good idea to engage in these discussions in your office, in your meetings, or in your shared spaces? When does a lively discussion turn into something that breeds negativity, tension, and hard feelings?

My friend, Scott Davidson, and I exchanged Facebook messages about politics this morning, as we do frequently. Although we both love talking about politics, we're both tired of it today. Exhausted, actually. Scott is a conservative Republican who's lamenting his party's nominee, and I'm an Independent (who votes Democratic) who just wishes CNN's "best political team on television" would decide ours. I'm a bit burnt out on it all.

Last night I was in a fraternity house dining room, and a huge verbal battle erupted between two brothers. Fingers were pointing and voices were raised. Meanwhile, CNN was broadcasting election results from Rhode Island on the flat screen television 10-feet away. I couldn't tell if it was in fun or if these two brothers are on the verge of violence.

All the women in my office are Republicans, and all the men are Democrats. I wish I could tell you that we're having highly intellectual discussions about issues around the lunch table, but that would be a lie. The women get testy the minute you bring up anything political. They literally shut down, roll eyes, and assume a defensive physical posture. We're all avoiding the topic of politics like the plague.

Doing a little research this morning, I found this, from Recruiting Trends:

Is talking politics at work still frowned upon? It may be a thing of the past suggests a recent Workplace Insights survey, revealing that while 50% of American workers actually do talk politics in the office, 47% listen and keep their political views to themselves, and only 3% report that they “don’t know”. The survey, developed by Adecco, a Global Fortune 500 company and specialist in workforce solutions, further suggests that among the younger generation, however, the percentage increases to 61% - a dramatic jump from the 45% of Millennials who report discussing politics at work during the 2004 presidential election. Even though half of respondents do talk politics at work, 62% state that they do not know which candidate their colleagues plan on voting for. “Being politically correct at the office means communicating carefully and inclusively when politics is on the agenda,” says Bernadette Kenny, Chief Career Officer of Adecco USA. “Although the presidential primaries are a hot topic right now, it’s important to leave the more heated debates outside of the workplace in order to keep things professional. We need to be aware that our opinions on key political issues and the candidates can affect how we’re viewed at the office by our managers, peers and direct reports, and that impact can last long after the last votes have been tallied,” adds Kenny.

It's something to think about. While many of us really enjoy a spirited discussion about political issues, some people hate it. Should we encourage political discussion or actively discourage it? I'm not sure. There's a part of me that says political discussion is an important part of being members of a democracy, even when there is disagreement. Part of me thinks that if it results in hurt feelings and tension, then it might be best kept out of the workplace, out of your organization's events and meetings.

Perhaps the answer is that political discussion belongs in voluntary environments. If people want to engage in these discussions, let them do it in coffee shops or other places where they can choose to be there, or choose to leave. But, don't do it in the dining room when some people are just trying to eat or relax from a busy day. Don't make your apartment a war zone if your roommate doesn't enjoy parsing the differences on health care policy as much as you do.

Perhaps it's not a good thing in an environment like work or an organizational meeting or a fraternity house where people can't escape. In a year when everyone seems to be talking politics, maybe the smart thing is to show a bit of restraint.

Urban Myth: Sorority houses prohibited because of brothel laws

It's one of the most persistent and annoying campus urban myths. "We can't have sorority houses in our town because they passed a law that says that no more than (insert number) unrelated women can live in the same house because it would be considered a brothel."

I hear this story at least once a month, stated as an absolute truth. It's usually the accepted justification for the absence of sorority houses in a particular campus community. The number of women in these prohibited situations vary from telling to telling, but "six" seems to be the most common magic number.

People who study urban myths say that this is one of the most persistent, and they've identified at least 100 campuses where it is fully accepted as the truth.

It's bullshit. I don't care who told you, it's not true. There is no such law in any municipality in the country. Read here if you don't believe me.

Some places have laws preventing a large number of unrelated people (male or female) from sharing a single family home, but it's never targeted at one gender. There are anti-brothel laws in some places in America, but in every case, the designation is based on proven activity occurring on the property, not based on how many unrelated people live there.

So, if there are fraternity houses in your community, there is absolutely no way women could be prohibited from an equal housing situation.

In 1998, a group of Tulane students actually spent a semester searching through every law ever passed in Louisiana and New Orleans to find the supposed law, and they couldn't find it. Next time someone states this as a fact on your campus, bet them $100.

Then, take your winnings and go buy yourself a hooker.