Friday, December 12, 2008

I've just been SO busy!

How many times have you heard this in the last month? It's become the regular excuse for just about everything. Sorry I didn't call you. Sorry I didn't reply to that email. Sorry I've been out of touch. Sorry I forgot your birthday. Sorry I haven't been able to come to any of your meetings. Sorry I didn't call you after our date.

I've just been SO busy...

When you claim "being busy," you're basically saying, "It hasn't been my priority."

The people who are "so busy" (and presumably, more busy than you or I) have had time to do a million small things that are more important than satisfying you. Fair or not, you aren't their priority.

In some cases, they've been so intensely busy, they have barely had time to grab a meal here and there. But, often, it's just a convenient excuse for not prioritizing YOU. They've had time to play video games, watch television, check their Facebook.

If someone told them to stop by to pick up an apple pie, they'd find time. If that special someone made a booty call, they'd be right over. If their boss told them to work an extra hour or be fired, they would do it. If someone offered to clean their house, they'd have time to drive the key over.

We make time for the things we care about. If that person actually cared about answering your question or doing that small favor for you, they would have found time. It's that simple. When someone says, "I've been busy," what they mean is, "You haven't been my priority." But, "Things have been crazy lately!" sounds so much less offensive.

If you have someone who keeps giving you the excuse, it's time to deal with the fact that he or she is not likely to make you a priority.

And, if you're the one who is always saying it, time to stop. Instead of saying, "I'm sorry, I've just been so busy," say something more honest, such as:

"You know, I'm a jerk for not getting back to you, I'm sorry. I'll do it by tomorrow afternoon."

"I really don't have time to make that a priority. Maybe you should find someone else."

"I've been under a lot of stress lately and I have been forgetting a lot of things lately."

Or maybe even, "Yeah, don't hold your breath on that one."