The Situation: which students are getting attention on your campus?

There's a great article in this week's Time about the longevity and impact of reality TV. It's difficult, honestly, to find someone who isn't a fan of at least one show. Your mother loves The Amazing Race. Your aunt has strong opinions about The Celebrity Apprentice. Your niece can't wait until she's old enough to audition for America's Next Top Model. Reality programming, apparently, is here to stay.

Becoming a reality TV star is actually a profession now. Back when my friend, Ethan Zohn, was eating bugs on the African savannah, he was joining a pretty small niche of quasi-celebrities. No one quite knew how to classify them. They fell somewhere on the spectrum of celebrity between "real actors" and porn stars. Today, according to the article, there are more than 1,000 people participating this year in some sort of TV reality show.

Twenty years after the debut of The Real World, and 10 years after the first season of Survivor, there are too many reality TV alums to count. They are part of Hollywood actor unions, now. They have conventions where they get together and discuss business strategies. They have clothing lines, agents for personal appearances, book deals, and consulting contracts with non-profit organizations needing a dose of cool. One will be coming soon to a blood drive near you.

Whether you love reality TV, or loathe it, it's hard to argue the impact it's had. We find ourselves living in a culture where stardom is measured by attention. Getting punched by a boy at the beach in the presence of your camera crew gets you more attention than earning an Oscar. You don't have to win anything, or be particularly good at anything (Heidi Montag, anyone?) to become a brand. Kate Gosselin gets more press and online chatter than our current Secretary of State.

We might not admire orange-skinned Sookie from The Jersey Shore, but just about everyone under 30 in this country knows exactly who she is. A parody bit of her on the venerable Saturday Night Live is a recurring bit. She and her abtastic little buddy, The Situation, are interesting, and today's students have grown up in a culture where being interesting rules. It is just as accepted – and probably more profitable – as being accomplished at something.

Why write about reality TV in a blog about student leadership?

Which students on your campus get the attention? At most, student athletes (of certain teams) and high profile student leaders are still the ones who claim the limelight. There will always be students whose ambition takes them the accomplishment route – who become important on campus for what they do. Right now, they're the ones who make the campus paper.

But, could that soon change? If status and attention come from outrageous attention grabs in our popular culture, how long will it be before some ambitious students take the outrageousness route on your campus?

It's not a new idea. Forty years ago, the students of note were protest leaders. But, that's so old fashioned.

If Heidi Montag can become famous for a sex tape, how long before a student on your campus gets the idea? A viral sex video circulating around campus could make some student a star. Are you ready to handle that? It might not earn them a dinner invitation at the president's house, but it will sure get them into all the right parties.

Perez Hilton has become a national celebrity by pedaling sexualized gossip on his website. How long before some student starts a website where students can share their sexual conquests from the weekend? How about a site where people post pictures, snapped with cell phone cameras, of their friends exposing themselves at various sites around campus? Look! I flashed my breasts at the main circulation desk of the library! There's Mike showing his junk at convocation! Isn't he hysterical?

If you can become legendary on your campus for doing something outrageous, some students will find that a perfectly fine option. Infamy is alluring, and for some, it beats the hell out of spending three years in meetings about risk management, running for elected office, and having to suck up to the Student Life staff.

And if it makes a certain portion of the campus population look down on you, who cares? You'll be gone in a couple of years, and you can reinvent yourself. Scott Brown, the newest Senator from Massachusetts and the new darling of the Republican Party, posed nude in a magazine once upon a time. If he can do it, why can't I?

Maybe I'm sounding a slightly ridiculous alarm. But, if a battle looms on the horizon between "status by accomplishment" and "status by notoreity," then we might be wise to go on offense now, rather than on defense later.

Am I suggesting that you put banners in your student center with the photos of your best student leaders? Am I suggesting that you put ads in your student newspaper celebrating their accomplishments? Do I suggest that we make them into campus rock stars? Am I asking you to give them scholarships, awards, and generally pump up their heads?

Yes, I am.

If celebrity is the cultural goal, then we better consciously make the right students the celebrities. We need to make sure that doing good things on campus continues to be the golden ticket to opportunity, admiration and appreciation.

Do the student leaders on your campus feel important? Do students on your campus know them and admire them? If not, it's something worth talking about.

As for me? I've preordered the first season of The Jersey Shore. It releases on February 23, and who am I to argue with the appeal of oversexed boys with tanned abs and hairdos of steel?

By the way, the current Secretary of State is Hillary Clinton.

Learn to leave a decent voice mail message

This morning, I arrived at the office, and there were six voice mail messages waiting for me. One in particular blew my mind.

"Hi. Yeah. (3 second pause...) I'm calling about some speakers and want to find out how much they cost and what days they could come here. So call me back. Later."

Really?

No name, no phone number. I don't even know what school she is from. I suppose that she's so used to calling her friends' cell phones that she assumes that anyone she's calling automatically has her number on caller ID. Needless to say, she didn't achieve her objective with that phone message because there was no way possible for me to reach her back.

Today, dear student leaders, we are going to talk about some tips on leaving a voice message. As a student leader, you can stand out by leaving intelligent voice mails. Trust me... an intelligent voice mail makes you seem much more intelligent.

• Always leave your full name, your phone number, the time you called, and some sort of action oriented message.

• Why tell them when you called? Because when they are jotting down your message, they'll probably write down the day/time when you say it. That makes it less likely that your message will sit there a long time. When you note the time, they are more likely to note it, and return the message in a timely manner. Doesn't always work, but it sure increases your chances.

• Please don't just leave your first name and assume I can recognize your voice and know immediately who you are. Give your last name, every time. If you simply say, "It's David," I have no idea which one you are. I know 42 Davids. And, for heaven's sake, don't say, "It's me."

• Don't assume I have your number. Leave it every time. I suggest you say your number slowly and clearly twice in every voice mail message. I leave the number for people who call me every day, even though I know they have it.

• When giving your phone number, leave your area code. Yes, people leave me phone messages all the time with no area code.

• If you are calling a place of business, make the effort to sound professional. Say your name clearly, state where you are from, say your phone number slowly and clearly. A voice mail you leave at a business location, with a professor, or some other non-friend person should sound different than the voice mails you leave for your best friend on a Friday night.

• Never leave a voice mail that is longer than a minute. People who leave "flow of consciousness" voice mails are the devil.

• Try not to call from a loud place. All that noise in the student center food court makes it almost impossible to understand you. Plus, you're yelling, and that's unpleasant.

• Slow down, dammit. Nothing more annoying than having to replay a message three times because the person spoke too fast.

• If there's a good time to reach you, let the person know.

• Sound pleasant. If I'm deciding between going to the break room to get my next cup of coffee and returning a call to a dreadfully boring caller, I'm picking the coffee.

I recorded myself leaving a voice mail message today, and here's what I said. I think it's a decent example of a useful voice mail message.

"Hi Katie. This is T.J. Sullivan from CAMPUSPEAK in Denver, 303-745-5545. I'm calling at around 2 pm our time here in Denver, about 1 pm your time. I wanted to let you know that Rick Barnes is available on the date you requested. If you're ready to book that date, please give me a call at 303-745-5545, and we'll get right on it. I'm going to be in the office for another two hours today, and all day tomorrow. Also, feel free to email me at (spelling out my email) if that's more convenient. Have a terrific day, and thanks for getting back to me. I look forward to connecting with you soon."

F-I-R-E is the key to an overwhelmed membership

Is your calendar getting a little crazy with too many meetings and events? Does it feel like your members are overwhelmed? Are you having to make everything mandatory, or financial penalize members if they don't attend events?

If your members seem overwhelmed, it's because they are. As their leader, what are you doing to address this serious problem?

Student organizations are great about adding events. Every year, new officers create new events. Unfortunately, they are not so good about cleaning the schedule from time to time. When you add, add, add, and you never delete, you end up with an insane calendar that burns everyone out.

Sit your officers and key influential leaders down for a couple of hours, and fix it.

Get a giant piece of paper – one that runs the length of a large table. Draw horizontal line across the center of the paper. At one end of the line, put a big happy face. On the other end, put an unhappy face.

Then, think of everything your members have an opportunity to attend, and place them along the continuum. Everything – intramural games, meetings, social events, committee meetings, recruitment, ritual, campus events, Homecoming, Parents Weekend, educational speakers. (It might help if people bring their calendars from the last year.) Try to think of every single obligation you, your university, or your governing councils ever place upon your members. This will probably take a while to do. Be exhaustive.

Place each obligation on the continuum based on its popularity. Place the events that everyone loves further on the continuum near the happy face. Place the events that everyone dreads toward the unhappy face. Obligations that some people like and others dislike will probably end up toward the middle. People might love formal, and it sits high on the continuum, but if parties have gotten a little lame, they might sit a bit south of the middle mark. Be honest.

Every group will be different. A fraternity might have more social events toward the happy face. Club sports teams might rank home games higher than away games. If your group is a professionally oriented group, you might see that your members love the networking and learning events, but don't really love your social events. In any case, as you look at your continuum, ask if it truly reflects the current attitudes and priorities of your members.

Once you have everything plotted, discuss it. Are there any trends? Are all the social things popular? Are service events unpopular? Do your members enjoy any of your meetings?

Next, start labeling the entries. I like to use F-I-R-E. Put an "F" by the events that are fine, fulfilling, fantastic. Put an "I" by the events that need improvement because they are important but need some reworking to make your members enjoy them more. Put an "R" by the events that need to be replaced – the goals of the event are valid, but the event needs to be completely reworked. Put an "E" by the events that need to simple be ELIMINATED.

You'll probably discover in doing this process that much of your conversation centers around whether an event deserves an "I" (for needs to be improved) or an "R" (for needs to be replaced with something entirely different). This is a very valuable conversation. Encourage it.

Discuss where combinations can be made. Combine your alumni event with your community service event, for example. If one event can fulfill three purposes, that beats the heck out of single-purpose event.

It's been my experience that this F-I-R-E process can reduce an organization's calendar by at least a third. Remember, morale is positively affected by having fewer events that are higher quality, more fun, and more beneficial.

Some people want to see you fail

There are people rooting against you. That's one of the unattractive realities of holding a leadership position. No matter how well-liked you are, how hard you work, how qualified you might be for your job – there will always be people who just aren't pulling for you.

Some of these people will be indifferent to your efforts. Nothing you do will impress them. Others will roll their eyes when you suggest an idea or show initiative. Some will trash you behind your back when talking to other members. Some will take a more active role and will attempt to undermine you in small or large ways.

Your detractors will come in all shapes and sizes. Some are people you thought were close friends once upon a time. Some are people you've clashed with before and never really liked. Others dislike you in spite of the fact that they've never actually had a conversation with you.

Their motivations are numerous. They might be jealous of you, or they might simply get enjoyment out of messing with you. Perhaps they have actual problems with your leadership style. Maybe they feel that there was someone better suited for the position. Maybe you offended them with a joke you told two years ago, and they can't get over it. They might hate the way you dress, or the tone of your voice. This can be very visceral, unexplainable stuff, and it often defies logic. They just don't like you, and they never will.

You can analyze it, agonize over it, complain about it, cry and scream at the unfairness of it all. Or, you can just get over it and move on to doing your damn job. Whether you were elected or appointed to your position, there will always be people who celebrate your shortcomings and errors.

Right after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, then-President Bush had approval ratings around 80-percent. These were historic highs. By and large, Americans rallied behind their president at a time of national crisis. But even at that amazing moment of national consensus, 20-percent – a fifth of Americans in opinion polls – still didn't like the president.

Even when they don't like you, they still are members of your constituency, and you have to do your best job to lead them. If you ran for office hoping for 100-percent approval and support, then it's time to bid farewell to the delusion. There's nothing you can do to control it, change it, or avoid it. You can lead them, you can do great things for your organization, in spite of them.

Do your job the best you can. Include everyone at the table. Make ethical decisions with the well-being of your organization front and center in your mind. Expect and admit your mistakes, and always keep your mind open for better ways to do things.

Learn to separate honest criticism from the silly, nasty stuff based in negativity. If you're looking for a dependable gauge of the quality of your efforts, find four or five fair-minded people in the organization (not your friends!) and check in with them regularly for feedback. Give these people permission to point out your areas for improvement, and respect them by demonstrating a willingness to fix mistakes along the way.

If you work hard and do the right thing, a beautiful moment awaits you about a year after you get done with your position. Someone you thought HATED you during your leadership term will come to you and thank you for all you did. It will blow you away when it happens. That feeling, at that moment, makes up for all the crap you tolerate from the detractors during your term.

Trust me.