Statement regarding respect for women

I spoke this weekend to the Greek leaders from Ramapo College, and I especially enjoyed a half-hour or so I spent with their Interfraternity Council. The men of their IFC are very concerned about stereotypes that exist about them, particularly surrounding issues of respect for women. They were upset that sorority women said (during a retreat brainstorming activity about image and public relations) they often feel mistreated by some of the men in the fraternity community, or that they believe that fraternity men are generally distrustful when it comes to their behavior toward women.

Obviously, the men in the room were leaders of their fraternity community. The cream of the crop, perhaps. This stereotype was incredibly insulting to them, but they acknowledged that the behavior of some fraternity men on their campus had created and reinforced this image.

Over the next half hour, we discussed some strategies for making progress to improve that dominant impression of their men. We talked about the importance of holding brothers accountable when they behave badly toward women. We talked about safety at social functions. We also talked about the importance of guarding against alcohol abuse by women at the parties so that abusive situations were minimized.

But, they wanted to do something immediately to address the issue. I suggested that they create a "Statement Regarding Respect for Women." I recommended that they bring all the men from their Greek councils (IFC, multicultural, and historically Black fraternities) and design a statement, cooperatively. I recommended that the statement begin with the line:

"We, the affiliated men of Ramapo College, affirm our commitment to the belief that the safest place for a woman on our campus should be in the presence of a fraternity man."

Then, build from there, I told them. List the kinds of behaviors that would not be tolerated. Talk about the specific things you are going to start doing to improve the problem. Make sure to address it at an individual as well as a community level.

I told them that once they designed this statement, they needed to make it public. But more importantly, they needed to be sure they were holding their brothers accountable to it. The level of buy-in from the average member would absolutely determine whether or not the statement had any teeth or was simply an empty PR move. I also told them that they should ask the sorority women on campus to help hold them accountable to the statement and let them know where specific improvements could be made.

The fraternity men at Ramapo were especially upset because they thought that the sorority women were helping to promote the negative image instead of standing up for their fraternity friends. I suggested to them that by taking some deliberate steps in a positive direction, they could enlist the sorority women as advocates. When women start telling other women that things are changing for the better, then perhaps the stereotype will be weakened or disappear over time.

Is your fraternity community suffering from this same negative image regarding men's behavior toward women on your campus? If so, recognizing it as a problem is the first step to addressing it. I challenge you to write your own "Statement Regarding Respect for Women." Go ahead and use the same first line – I think it's a pretty good one.