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In a college world where break-ups happen by Facebook message, it's valuable to acknowledge that there are still some situations when an email is not the best way to communicate. If you're one of those student leaders who does everything by email, text message or wall post, take a moment to consider 10 situations when you should find a better way to communicate.1. You want to send a heartfelt thanks or apology. Sincerity is the key in both situations, and an email or a "thanks, you rock" text message doesn't convey much. If you want to really, sincerely thank someone, say it to their face, write a short note, send a small gift, or stand up at a meeting and say something nice about the person. If you need to apologize, be a big person and do it face to face. "I'm sorry I slept with your roommate. Forgive me" on a text message isn't going to get the job done.
2. You haven't spoken in a long time. If you've fallen out of touch with someone and then you suddenly send an email asking for something, it speaks volumes about the nature of your relationship. Picking up the phone and having a real conversation that conveys your sincerity will make all the difference, plus it gives you a chance to re-establish the relationship.
3. Your request isn't crucial to the recipient. Guess what? Your important email isn't the most important thing the Vice President of Student Affairs has to deal with today! It's important to you, but it's just one of 80 messages she has received today, and while she likes you, it's not the thing on the top of her to-do list. She read your FB message on a 5-minute break from a meeting and will forget it completely an hour from now. If you need a response badly, then put it in front of the person in a more urgent way.
4. You have enormous files to send. Only send big files via email if the person asks you to. That gigantic attachment could clog their account, end up in a spam filter, or tie up his iPhone for 10 minutes downloading.
5. You want to keep something confidential. If you haven't learned this one yet, you will, eventually. What seems like a private conversation now can become a public mess with the purposeful or accidental click of the "forward" button. Email lasts forever. Your status with the recipient of that email might not. Be careful.
6. You need an immediate reply. Texting helps with this, because right now, people feel like they are more urgent. That won't last forever. People used to pounce on emails the moment they came in. Some still do, but others barley check email at all. If you need an immediate response, find the person, or have a Plan B.
7. You're trying to build consensus among leaders. There are some subjects that simply should be discussed in a group setting – where people can bounce ideas around, play off each other, and yes, argue a bit. Email is not a good place to build consensus on a subject because people read emails at different times. It's not a conversation where everyone gets to participate equally or simultaneously. It's OK to put out the information necessary for a discussion ahead of time, but have the discussion in person, or on a conference call. You need to recognize when an email string has moved into the realm of a meeting agenda item.
8. The subject is complicated. If it seems too complicated to write in an email, then it is. Emails are not meant to be intense and intricate. Talk it out in person so the topic gets the explanation it deserves.
9. Things could get tense. Emotion and attitude are very difficult to convey in an email, or heaven forbid, in a text. If you're writing when you're emotional, you could say things you don't mean, without the benefit of body language and non verbal cues. Feelings get bent out shape quickly when fiery messages fly around. Just avoid it.
10. Email caused the problem in the first place. If your message or someone else's has caused a stir, move it off the Internet. You'll just make matters worse by firing back a response, inappropriately sharing their message, etc.
This blog post is based off material I gathered from Margaret McDonald, a wonderful writer, trainer and consultant whose blog can be found at www.MissCommunications.com. If you're looking for someone to train your group on the do's and don'ts of electronic communication, check out her website at www.SmartPeopleAtWork.com. Margaret gave me permission to tweak her material for my blog. Thanks, Margaret.
