Rider Greek Advisor charged in hazing case.

This is so sad.

Rider University's Dean of Students and the Director of Greek Life are among five people charged in the death of a freshman from alcohol intoxication after a fraternity party at the school. The case is monumental as it's the first time in New Jersey that a university official has been implicated in a hazing crime. Gary DeVercelly, 18, of Long Beach, Calif., died on March 30. Mercer County police charged 51-year-old Anthony Cambell, the school's Dean of Students, and 31-year-old Ada Badgley, the Director of Greek Life, with aggravated hazing. The ramifications of this for colleges and universities in New Jersey, and across the country, is that it will send some kind of message that the standards of college life, when it relates to alcohol, need to be policed carefully," said Mercer County Prosecutor Joseph Bocchini Jr.

Ada Badgley is a fine Greek Life professional, and I think it's terrible that the local authorities are trying to take down a Greek Advisor for the heinous actions of fraternity hooligans who insist on hazing. Rider University has long been a campus with serious hazing and risk management problems in their Greek community – long before Ada got there.

Frankly, I hope the students get what's coming to them, and it's tragic that a student's life was ended because of hazing practices that are both illegal and immoral. But criminally charging the Greek Advisor? This could have a very chilling effect on the student affairs field. Who wants to go to work for higher ed money and then get criminally charged for the actions of students who haze?

If you think this is bullshit, as I do, and if you care about the quality of people we are able to recruit into the field of student affairs, then I invite you to visit the website of the Mercer County Prosecutor's Office and voice your opinion.

How leadership is like tennis

My mentor refused to play tennis with me. He played tennis with a lot of his other staff members, but he never asked me to play. I don't really like tennis and I'm not terribly athletic, so it didn't bother me at first. Eventually though, I felt left out. He asked Greg, and Mike, and Alan. Why not me?

I am very fortunate to know and have worked with the illustrious Durward W. Owen, former CEO of my fraternity. It's an understatement to say he's a legend in our organization. Most days, it felt like I worked for a cartoon character. His voice and style are distinctive, and he always says the nuttiest things.

When I finally asked Durward why he never asked me to play, he said, "I haven't asked you, T.J., because I expect that you are a TERRIBLE tennis player." This sort of direct and tactless reply, uttered in the most gentle Southern drawl, was typical of Durward. He would charm and devastate you in the same sentence.

"Well, that's true, but I'm a little hurt that you don't ask me anyway," I said. "It would make me feel more valued if you at least asked me. Maybe if you played with me I'd pick something up from you."

"T.J.," he said with a sigh, "In tennis, you only get better by playing with people who challenge you. If I play with you, I'll get worse. I have a tournament coming up." And, with that he dismissed me.

Of course, it hurt my feelings, but upon reflection, I realized there was an important leadership lesson to be learned. Durward, as usual, was pretty close to the truth. You rise or fall to the skill level of those you play with. Isn't that true in life, also?

You can be a really sharp person, but if you socialize with a bunch of dummies, you end up with a lot of problems. You can be a really sharp leader, but if you're in a dysfunctional organization, your leadership skills stagnate. We need to be challenged to improve.

It's true in jobs, friendships and romantic relationships, too. Think about your last job or relationship. Did it make you a better? Are there friendships in your life where you're serving the ball again and again to a "terrible tennis player" who drags you down?

Choose your friends, your leadership teams, your dates, your advisors, and your mentors carefully. They are either helping you get BETTER, or they're dragging you down.

Like Durward, we should all be choosing our tennis partners carefully.

Go easy on us, Headbanger!

OK, so you've had a great summer. Maybe you attended UIFI, or your fraternity/sorority leadership event, or some other summer conference. You have a notebook full of ideas, and you can't wait to whip your group into shape the minute school starts.

Oh God. They are going to hate you...

Imagine a guy who went to three concerts for the same band this summer. He's become a disciple. He comes back to school, and all he wants to listen to are the CDs for that band. He wears the t-shirt every day. All he can talk about is how amazing a time he had at the concert. Over, and over, and over. He thinks anyone with a shred of taste should be "into" this band. He's constantly bugging you to buy the CD, go to a concert, and share his enthusiasm. He's become a headbanger, and he's driving everyone nuts.

Yeah, don't be that guy.

Take some time before school, and think of the best four or five ideas you gained from your leadership experience this summer. Which ones are simple fixes, and which ones will require a lot of sales, nurturing and politicking? Then, enter into the new school quietly, and let the ideas for change emerge gradually. Don't overwhelm everyone.

If you've "seen the light" this summer, your job isn't to shine the light in their face. Your job is to help them find a match so they can build a small fire and find some of the light on their own.

Why do speakers cost so much?

Thought you might enjoy a simple answer to this FAQ.

Let's say you spend $3,000 on a speaker. Here's how that typically breaks down. About $800 off the top goes to the government in taxes. Speakers usually pay more because they have to pay both the employee and the employer's portion of the social security tax (all self employed people have to do this). About another $100 per gig is going to health insurance (more if the speaker has children or a spouse they pay health insurance for, like I do).

If affiliated with an agency, they are usually paying a MINIMUM of 20-percent of the total to the agency, so that's about $600. Figure that the average successful speaker pays about 10-percent of all the money they bring in on marketing costs, so that's another $300. It costs a lot to get the word out with mailers, websites, conference attendance, and so forth. All of that comes out of the speaker's pocket.

So, now, we're at about $1,800 spent. Then comes the cost of travel. Airfare usually averages about $400 per appearance (sometimes a little less or a little more, depending on where you live -- in Denver I'm averaging just under $400 per). Hotel is about $100 a night on the cheap end, and a rental car is almost always about $100 a day if you add in the cost of a half tank of gas. Our total cost is up to $2,400. Let's bump it up to $2,450 assuming that our speaker would like to buy a sandwich, pay a toll, tip a shuttle driver, park his/her car at the airport, and maybe buy a soft drink in the airport.

That leaves about $550. A speaker doing 40 appearances a year is doing really well, so that's about $22,000 for the year after expenses. Not what you thought a speaker makes, huh? Truth is – unless you can charge upwards of $4,000 an appearance and do at least 40-50 a year, speaking is really a great SECOND job.

Just thought you'd like to know. Obviously those speakers who can charge top dollar and book 80-100 programs a year are doing very well, but for most speakers you've seen, this just isn't the case.