Iowa students tie state's first same-sex knot

The window was a narrow one, but two University of Iowa undergrads played it perfectly and became the state's first legally married same-sex couple.

CNN has the story here.

Twenty same-sex couples were waiting at the Polk County courthouse doors Friday morning, waiting to apply for marriage licenses, following a court's order striking down the state's man/woman only marriage law. The judge put a stay on his own order late Friday morning, but not before Sean Fritz and Tim McQuillan got their license and were married by a local Unitarian minister.

Fritz said: "We're both in our undergrad programs and we thought maybe we'd put it off until applying for graduate school, but when this opportunity came up, we thought maybe we wouldn't get the opportunity again."

Amazing how social change frequently comes at the hands of students acting on issues that matter most to them personally.

Your Advisor: Feed and Care Instructions

Whether you have an advisor you love, or one you'd like to toss off the nearest high-rise, it is to your advantage to build the most productive relationship possible. There are a few simple strategies you can implement to maintain, build, or improve your working relationship with your advisor.

With the proper, care, feeding and affection, your advisor will be a trusted companion and protector. Kind of like that handsome dog in the picture, but with better breath.

• If your advisor requires paperwork of any kind, do it on time. Nothing annoys an advisor more than having to track you down and beg you to do what you should be doing. Getting your crap in on time is the quickest path to his or her heart.

• Take the initiative to set up weekly check-in meetings. Don't make your advisor track you down and beg for face-to-face time. Do your best to keep your appointments and show up with a few notes. This demonstrates that you respect his or her time and want to use it for the greatest benefit.

• Give your advisor at least one opportunity each semester to attend an event, a meeting, or some other "face time" thing with your organization's members. Come to your advisor with a few opportunities, and help find a date that works with his/her schedule. It's important that your members know your advisor's name and face.

• Don't lie to your advisor. You lose credibility instantly. It's easier to forgive a dummy than to forgive a liar.

• Give your advisor a calendar of your events and meetings as far in advance as possible.

• Show a little appreciation. A simple note that says "Thank you for your time and effort" will buy you a lot of good will. An occasional t-shirt, lunch, candy bar, or Hawaiian vacation doesn't hurt either.

• When something goes wrong, be honest with your advisor, and call him SOON after it happens. Your advisor will be upset to hear about something negative from anyone other than you.

• When you have a problem, ask for help. That's what an advisor is there for! You're not bothering your advisor if you bring some possible courses of action to the table and need some help choosing between them. It's annoying when a group is struggling and won't ask for help.

• Share good news and funny stories with your advisor also. Don't just share the negative stuff.

• Nominate your advisor for awards. They'll never ask you to do it, of course. But, recognitions for good advising are few and far between. Reward someone who's done good work for you by giving them a public pat on the back. And make sure your advisor's boss (or the volunteer that supervises him or her) gets a copy of the nomination.

Most of us in student affairs -- whether professional or volunteer -- live for those moments when we feel like we made a difference. If your advisor is making a difference for you, make sure he or she knows how they are helping you and your organization.

Charges dropped against Rider officials

UPDATE

I was happy to learn that the aggravated hazing charges have been dropped against the two student affairs professionals at Rider University. Read more here. Hank Nuwer also provided very good coverage of the situation at his blog.

Although I (and many others) predicted and hoped that these charges would be dropped, it has still been a significant incident for the student affairs field. The repercussions will take a while to fully reveal themselves. And sadly, both officials have probably not heard the end of this. The family of the young man who died were decrying the charges being dropped in media articles this week which probably indicates an intention to file a civil suit down the road.

For now though, best wishes go out to my friend, Ada Badgley, who was truly put through the ringer on this stuff. Having your picture appear repeatedly in USA Today and other papers in association with a crime is a truly terrible experience. Both officials return to work this week, according to reports, and I hope they can put this experience behind them and recover to a degree of normalcy. I also applaud the students of Rider who rallied behind their university officials in this situation.

"Fagbug" – Hate crime inspires student to activism

One day last April, Erin Davies woke up to find red spray paint on her VW Bug with the words "fag" and "u r gay" on her hood and driver side window. Despite immediate shock and embarassment, she quickly decided to embrace what happened and to keep driving her vandalized car to increase public awareness about homophobia and hatred that exists in our society.

Erin is now driving her "fagbug" on a cross country trip, taking it to different communities. She is also producing a fagbug documentary to shed light on the issues of intolerance.

I think it's a really cool story of student activism. If you have a chance, visit her website and give her a message of support. Maybe even invite her to your school. Courage deserves encouragement.