Friday, December 14, 2007

You just came out on Facebook, no wait...


I have a lot of gay fraternity men on my Facebook friends list. Well, not really. Sure, their profiles say they are interested in men, list their boyfriends, and list things like shaving their chests, wearing Speedos, and listening to Coldplay in their activities. But these seemingly gay men are really just victims of their brothers' teasing.

There's a new prank that is rampant on Facebook. Find one of your friends or fraternity brothers who has left his computer logged on to his Facebook account, and go in and change all his personal information to reflect homosexual orientation. Not a nudist, or a porn star, or a Republican (that would be funny), but a homosexual. Really original, and completely hysterical, right?

One of my students at Colorado State (let's call him Mark) was the first victim I noticed. When I saw the changes of status, I thought, "Well, good for Mark." Like a dumb ass, I sent him an encouraging message.

Since then, I've seen it on about a dozen profiles linked to me. It's all over the country. I frequently laugh at the creativity and depravity. Frankly, I wish my life were as gay as some of the profiles I've been reading!

But, what bugs me is that fraternity men who might be coping with sexual orientation issues once again get the message that their situation is a source of ridicule. What comes off as a silly, harmless prank to most fraternity men is truly chilling for that man who is contemplating coming out to his brothers, his family, or other friends. If "liking other guys" is the best way you can think of to humiliate and poke fun at your brothers, then why should I trust that I would be treated with respect and dignity by you if being gay is my reality?

I had a chance to do a member review at Mark's chapter shortly after the prank, and I asked the man who made the profile changes if he thought that a brother who was really coming out would feel supported and welcome in his chapter? He said yes, of course. Who wants to admit they are homophobic and insensitive?

But since the incident, the pranks continue. Just today, I noticed one man posting on the other's wall, "You look especially gay in your profile picture." I literally can't wait until one of the men in the chapter stands up and tells his brothers he's sick of the jokes and that he's bringing his boyfriend to formal. Can't wait.