Sometimes, good students screw up big time

Some huge, important, bajillionaire donors were paying a visit to the Indiana University School of Journalism one weekend during my senior year. The entire school had been warned to spruce the place up, and be on our best behavior. The donors were members of a family who owned a bunch of newspapers, gave a ton of money, and provided a lot of job offers to graduates of the school. Everyone knew this was a really, really big deal.

I had never seen the newsroom of our student newspaper clean like it was that Friday the donors flew in.

They arrived to much fanfare that afternoon, had a full day of university receptions and activities on Saturday, and were leaving early Sunday morning. I think they were being greased up for an enormous donation to the university.

The dean of the Journalism School needed a responsible student to drive the big wigs back to the Indianapolis airport on Sunday morning. My publisher at the student newspaper recommended me for the job because he regarded me as one of the most responsible students in the department. I guess he also knew that I was a huge ass-kisser and would do a good job charming the old donors. Lord knows I needed a job at the end of the year, and he thought I might charm my way into one.

So, it was all arranged. I was to go to the university motor pool on Sunday morning at 6 a.m., get a minivan, pick up the donors at the university hotel, and drive them the 45 minutes to the Indy airport in time for their 9:30 flight back to New York. Nice and simple.

Fast forward to Sunday afternoon. I get a call from the newspaper publisher, "Did you forget something this morning?"

I had completely and utterly forgotten the entire thing. I had woken up around 10 that Sunday morning, eaten breakfast with my friends, and did whatever it was that came normal on a Sunday. This was before cell phones, obviously. The dean had received a panicked call from the donors (his number was the only one they had). The dean had jumped in his own car to get them, and drove them to the airport barely in time for their flight. I can imagine him with bed head speeding through early morning Bloomington, cursing me.

It wasn't because my alarm failed to go off. It wasn't because I had been partying the night before. It wasn't because I was a generally irresponsible person (I had earned my positive reputation as a student leader in 10,000 ways, previously). I simply and completely forgot that I was supposed to do it. Looking back, 20 years later, I still don't have an excuse, and I have no one and nothing else to blame. I still feel terrible about it.

That Monday morning was one of the most dreadful of my life. The dean was pissed at me. The publisher was pissed at me. The entire Journalism School knew that I was a disgrace. I had made the School look incompetent to these important donors, and literally everyone was angry at me for the remainder of the year. No amount of apology seemed to be enough. I apologized to the dean, to my publisher, to every professor. Everyone just gave me the disappointed look that week, and I was never asked to do anything again. And that killed me.

With one mistake – one really big mistake – I had gone from department darling to village idiot.

So, this is the part of the story where I'm supposed to tell you how I redeemed myself. Cue the sad music... Well, it didn't happen. I graduated that year, still branded as the loser who screwed up. Two decades have passed, and I still internally cringe when I think about it.

I hold this experience close to me, though, and it has made me more sympathetic to anyone who makes a stupid mistake. They happen. When an employee of mine, or a student I advise does something incredibly dumb, I think back to the dean and try to act the way I so desperately wanted him to act. I try not to brand someone a lifetime screw up just because they made one royal error. If anything, I try to give them a chance to do something big and right soon after.

Good people screw up big time, without a good reason, and what they need the most at that moment in their life is a shot at redemption. As a leader in that situation, you have the opportunity to be big about it, or small about it. The choice you make can have a lasting impact on the person who made the mistake.

Is President Bush a strong argument against the purity of values-centered leadership?

Our 43rd president has said on many occasions that he acts based on his firmly held beliefs, and not on the whims of public opinion polls. The vast majority of Americans want our troops out of Iraq, for example, but our president pushes for deeper involvement because he believes in that course of action. He's not much interested in compromise. He knows the right way, and you're either with him, or against him.

In many ways, George W. Bush is the definition of a "values centered leader." I suppose whether you like him or not pretty much has to do with whether you share his values. If you do, he's your guy. If you don't (like the 66% of Americans in the latest polls), you're not too happy with our Cowboy in Chief.

So, today, when I read that one in four Americans believes that George W. Bush is the worst president in our nation's history (CNN/Opinion Research Corporation poll), it made me think a bit about how busy we are advocating "values centered leadership" as the ideal for student leaders. If George W. Bush is a values-driven leader, and if his approval ratings are lower than Richard Nixon's during the Watergate scandal, it suggests that "values centered leadership" -- as a pure leadership ideal -- falls short of the silver bullet we've been telling our student leaders it is.

I want to admit – straight out and as honestly as possible – that I am not a fan of either George W. Bush or of the values-centered leadership cult currently dominating student affairs in this country. In fact, I can't really tell you which I dislike most (although I think the president might win that one). I try to avoid politics in this blog, but I'm using the president's dismal approval ratings to illustrate a point...

I think teaching "values centered leadership" as the simple answer to student leaders is flawed. It's not enough to make your decisions solely based on your personal understanding of the values of your organization or your founders. It's not as simple as reading your ritual, your Constitution or your mission statement and determining the one right option. The values of your organization should be a guide, and they should help differentiate between a good option and a bad one, but being a leader means making decisions and setting courses of action that respond to the complex situations that your group faces RIGHT NOW.

You have to think about your recent history, your budget and resources, the priorities of your members or campus, and the opportunities for compromise that move a negative reality closer to something positive. Leadership is very complex and somewhat fluid when it is done properly. There are days when you have to settle for a small step forward even when you wish, in your heart, that you could be in perfect congruence with the values of your organization. Some days you feel like a leader who acted righteously, and some days you feel a little filthy because you had to get dirty to get something done. That's reality, but it's very difficult to teach that to student leaders getting their first real shots at leadership.

Sometimes, the right thing to do is simply the right thing to do, and acting based on your values is prudent. But when you act entirely based on your interpretation of what is right, you run the risk of falling out of touch with the will of the people you govern.

Then, you face "W. Syndrome" -- everyone decides you are completely out of touch and can't wait until you go back home to your ranch.

T.J.'s rules for wearing nametags

Whenever you wear a name-tag, it needs to be on the right side of your body. Always, without question. If someone sticks a nametag on the left side of your shirt, smile, turn away from the person, peel the damn thing off, and put it on the correct side. Which is the right side. The right side. Not the left side. The right side.

Why? When you shake someone's hand you always do it with your right hand (unless you're at a convention of left-handed people activists, then ignore this posting completely). When you shake someone's right hand, and when your nametag is correctly positioned on the right side of your body, it allows the other person to glance at your nametag and make mental note of your name. Being able to look at that nametag builds confidence in the person with whom you are interacting, and that's a good thing. Some people, like me, are visual learners and are more likely to remember your name if we can see it in addition to hearing it. Plus, if your nametag has useful information like your job title, college or organization name, etc., that helps us place you and saves us from the first 67 stupid questions we need to ask in order to figure out who the hell you are.

Having to shake someone's hand and turn your head to the left to look at the nametag is awkward. Plus, the person can't help but think, "Jesus! No one has ever told this dumb ass that nametags always go on the right." And, you don't want them thinking that, do you?

But wait, some argumentative male will say... When I wear a dress shirt, there's a pocket on the left, and I like to affix or pin my nametag on the pocket. Well, that's just wrong. WRONG DAMN IT! What the hell does a pocket have to do with a nametag? NOTHING! Don't affix your nametag to your pocket, because now you look like an idiot and your pocket is drooping and making your nametag even harder to read. Dummy.

Now, for those of you who feel like I am discriminating against the left side of the body, I promise, I'm not. When you wear a corsage or boutonniere, you wear it on the left side of your jacket or dress. So, the left side doesn't get much action, but when it does, it smells better than a stupid nametag.

A few more things about nametags, while I'm ranting...

I would like to mention my deepest-felt hatred for nametags that hang from lanyards, attached at the top and middle to the nametag. Walk around a conference where the genius meeting planners have given out these nametags and you'll see that half of them are being worn with the name side facing the attendees' bodies, rendering them not only unattractive, but now utterly useless. The only thing dumber than a nametag is a nametag worn backwards. If you are a conference planner, stop ordering nametags that swivel. That's just incredibly stupid, and you're making my life miserable.

And a quick word to the guy who enjoys pinning his nametag on the belt-loop of his pants. Dude, you're not cool. If I want to check out your crotch, believe me, I'll do it. I don't need you placing your nametag by it to encourage me. From now on, when I see a guy wearing his nametag like this, I'm going to say, "Gee John! I never noticed what a gigantic cock you have! Thanks for putting your nametag there! Those flat-front Dockers were definitely a good choice this morning!"

If you are wearing more than three ribbons on your nametag, it's a serious cry for help. If they give you eight ribbons, don't wear them all cascading down your body like a drunken rainbow. Yes, you've earned them all, but if you have to wear eight ribbons to advertise your importance at a particular conference, people hate you anyway. Pick the three you like best, or the three that clash the least with your wardrobe, and wear those. Give the other ones to the poor stooges who don't have any ribbons. It will make them feel important and it will help you make some strides in tackling that over-achiever's complex you have.

Stickers and buttons on your nametag add a little flair. But, don't be too much of a sticker whore. If you're getting neck pain, you are overdoing it. If the last thing I notice on your nametag is your name, then again, you're an idiot.

And take the nametag off the minute you leave the building where your conference or event is taking place. Ever been in a food court and you see John from Accounting, Fred from Sales, and Jerry from Physical Plant taking a lunch break from their corporate meeting standing in line at Panda Express? Total bottom feeders, poor bastards. Makes you want to say, "Hey John from Accounting! Do you recommend the chow mein or the fried rice?" Take off your nametag, put it in your pocket. Put it back on when you enter the meeting again.

God, I feel so much better. Now, go out there and mingle!

Saturday morning at La Verne

OK, so they told me to show up for a student leadership conference at the University of La Verne, dressed in a suit, at 7:45 a.m. on Saturday morning. It was a definite challenge to my normally positive attitude. I was cranky.

Friday had been a long, long, long day. I had meetings, I spoke, and then I spent about 8 hours trying to fly from Dallas to Ontario, CA. By the time my head hit the pillow at the Hampton Inn at 12:30 a.m., I was toast. Just the thought of having to get up at 6 a.m. and put on a suit was causing me dread. Doing it on five hours sleep, even worse.

So, when I pulled into the University of La Verne, I was prepared to be a bit sour. There was no way that students were going to be dressed up and in a good mood for a student leadership conference starting at 8:30 a.m. on a Saturday.

Well, of course, I was totally wrong. I had a WONDERFUL experience at The University of La Verne. It's a school very few people have ever heard of, but please take my word for it when I tell you that they had some of the nicest, most enthusiastic student leaders I have ever met. No one made them come; they wanted to be there. I can't remember the last time I shook so many hands, or had so many nice compliments on my program.

I think they get some of that positive attitude from the top. The university president, Steve Morgan, was there (super nice). The entire student affairs staff was there, from the dean of students on down (all incredible, friendly). I did two keynotes, one at the start of the day, and one at the end, and I enjoyed myself thoroughly. It's one of the best campus visits I've had in years. I think if they had offered me a job, I would have been house shopping by dinnertime.

So, shout out to La Verne! You now have a new fan club president. I expected your students to be cranky and sour about having to be up so early on a Saturday, but you proved me incorrect! I appreciate you challenging my negative expectation! Congrats also to Greek Advisor Chip West who is doing fabulous work there.