When a student leader gets sick

Many of the student leaders who get the most attention are the ones who are indispensable to the daily operations of their organizations. This young man or woman is integral to every decision, every process, every event. No one can imagine how the organization would succeed if that student disappeared.

Then, that young man or woman gets sick. Everyone looks around wondering what the hell to do. Who's going to run the meeting? How do we get hold of our advisor? Who's going to fill in? Who's going to run the fundraising or service event four days from now?

Dynamic, charismatic leaders are a blessing and a curse. When they are motivating everyone, getting things done, and providing a steady guiding hand, we happily hand over the fate of our organizations. They are a curse because they don't often share their knowledge or control, so when they have a crisis of some sort, the well-being of the group is put in jeopardy.

Does your organization know how to run without its leader? Could it do it very suddenly if your key leader got sick?

There is a strong possibility that the flu (swine and other) is going to be the big health story in the next six months. Many campuses will be hit hard. With the possibility of such a significant health issue sidelining many people on your campus, now is a good time to make sure you have contingency plans. This is not a good year to have a lone individual running your organization, important events or bank accounts.

Use this as an excuse to make sure that people are sharing responsibilities and working together. Have a Plan B for every event. Make sure your committees are sharing the work and not depending on one person to get the job done.

Reduce the drama before confronting

There is someone in your group (or group of friends) who needs a confrontation. They've done something to harm you, themselves of your group. You've decided that you're going to "have the talk," and you're starting to figure out the when and how.

It's important that you reduce the drama. A few tips:

Stop the electronic communication. Fiery emails, or six-page messages that pour out gobs of emotion are just going to make things worse. Move everything to the realm of face-to-face. Sometimes your "radio silence" will let people know that you're serious about dealing with the situation. Encourage others to cease the messages also. More drama is not what you need at this critical time.

Isolate the behavior. Write down the facts. What happened? Narrow the scope of your confrontation to the behaviors that were harmful. You're unlikely to change someone's style or personality, so don't try. Target the one specific thing that happened.

Talk to another friend about it. Look for that person you trust who will help you process the situation. Are you over-reacting? Are there other incidents you haven't heard about? Vocalizing your feelings and motivations for a confrontation to a caring friend FIRST can really help build your confidence. You might even do a role play, having the other person pretend to be the person you plan to confront.

Check your level of anger. Are you having trouble sleeping because your mind is racing? Are you distracted and pissed off about the situation? If so, you might be the wrong person to do the confrontation, and you might need to consider approaching another friend or member to do the confrontation. Anger and unchecked emotion will not help you achieve your goals.

Let things settle down. I'm a big fan of letting a day or two pass to let things calm down. It's amazing how a day or two of perspective can affect the situation's intensity. If fear and emotion are detriments, give them a day or two to evaporate a bit.

It is important to confront negative behavior, but there is no rule that says you have to do it within 24 hours. Confrontation mixed with drama almost never leads to change. Calming the situation down before constructively confronting someone is almost always the best way to go.

Schedule some time with the new kids

My sons start back to school on Monday. My oldest is starting a new high school, and he's going in as a 10th grader. Many of the kids already know each other, and he's a little nervous about being accepted as the new guy. My youngest is going into first grade, and the only thing he's worried about is getting lost in the school. "What if I go to the bathroom and can't find my way back to my class?" he asked.

I reassure them and try to get them excited, but I know that nothing will replace a few days, a few conversations with new friends, and a few successful trips to the bathroom and back.

The new students at your college are going through the same things. They are excited, but completely uncertain if they are doing things right. So much is new. After the chaos of the first week or two, they begin to find some routines and build some confidence. Even so, the questions and the uncertainty can be overwhelming. Once the fun of orientation, sorority recruitment, or the first football games passes, a feeling lingers. Am I doing this right?

A new student looks around as the college community assumes its usual rhythm. Some fall into that rhythm fairly well. Others struggle.

One of the most important things you can do for these new folks is to seek them out a few weeks into their first semester and spend some quality time with them. Take a visible interest. Invite them along on something. See how their classes are coming, and help them deal with the ones that are kicking their butts. Ask if they are missing home or missing someone they left back home. Transitions are stressful, and people don't often realize exactly how it's affecting them until some of the madness of the first weeks has died down.

I'm taking my boys on a camping trip this weekend. We're just going to chill out, hike a bit. We'll probably have some stories around a campfire. What do you think of the new kids? How are your teachers? What still worries you? I want to give them a chance to process the first week and get their minds confidently on what lies beyond it.

For your new students, the first two week are about getting started. The third and fourth are about finding the rhythm and the routine. By the end of September, the weather starts to change, and it becomes a matter of confidence and performance. In my experience, these weeks are the ones where they need the most support.

Part of being a leader is recognizing when your people need you. An investment of your caring and listening will help you keep these young, overwhelmed members engaged. If you play it right, you can lock folks into some meaningful roles during this time, give them something to latch onto, and position yourself as a thoughtful, caring mentor.

The president's discretionary fund

When you're the leader of a student organization, there are often multiple tiny expenses that come up. Sometimes when you're paying for that $3.50 cup of coffee while meeting with the student newspaper reporter, you start wondering why your organization isn't paying for the coffee. If the purpose of the meeting is "business," then why isn't the business (your organization) picking up the tab? Surely the benefit to the organization is a lot more than $3.50.

As a business owner, I have a budget line item called "business development." It's essentially the money I use for those tiny expenses that just come up. This might include lunch with a staff member who is struggling, a birthday card or cake for a valued customer, or some prize I purchase for a game at the weekly staff meeting.

If you find that you're spending a bunch of your own money (or more than you wish you were), you have three options. The first option is to stop spending the money. Stop meeting with people over lunch and coffee, and just sit – for free – somewhere and talk. Second option is to simply continue spending your own money. For student leaders who have the extra cash, this is the easiest option.

Option three is to approach your members and/or the executive board of your group, and ask if it would be appropriate to have a small "president's discretionary fund." Let them know that you can get a lot more done for the organization if you have the ability to be reimbursed for a few dollars here or there.

Groups that have no tradition of this tend to get worried that you're going to be buying yourself a bunch of perks. Usually the best way to approach this subject is to spend a month collecting your miscellaneous receipts, making note on each receipt about the nature of the expense. Then sit with your fellow officers and show them how much of your own money you've been spending in order to do your position effectively.

If they see the value in the dollars you've spent, and if the total amount isn't some crazy amount, then they are more likely to be open to the idea.

If your group goes for this idea, I advise that you keep the amount you request very small. Set a monthly limit (any amount is more than you're getting now, right?), and set it up so that you have to submit receipts with descriptions and get reimbursed. Transparency is the key to getting people to trust this idea. If your group has an advisor, be sure that person is in on the decision as well. You don't want your advisor's eyebrows going up suspiciously.

Then, of course, make sure you're only using this new ability in an ethical way. This is not meant to be your entertainment fund. Gas to drive out to visit your advisor? That's kosher. Buying a pitcher of beer for friends in a different student organization? Probably not appropriate. Make sure that you're being a vigilant steward of your organization's funds, keep the reimbursements as low as possible, and establish a positive tool for the next person in your position.