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I had one of those depressing experiences last night that made me scratch my head in amazement – one that really makes me feel like I simply don't "get" today's students sometimes.
I was visiting my fraternity's chapter at a nearby university. I was there to deliver the news that we would be doing a sort of "membership review" in two weeks, asking each man for a reaffirmation of his commitment to the values of the fraternity. Sort of a "buy in or get out" challenge. The chapter has had some big struggles with grades and risk management violations, and they are at the point where they need to fix things, or they'll be gone.
So, as I'm sitting in the room waiting for my turn to speak, the young man coordinating this weekend's plans for the big football game proceeds with his report. He announces that he will need $40 per man to pay for "soda" for the event. It was obvious to everyone in the room that he wasn't going to be using the money to buy soda. A chuckle erupted around the room. Even he chuckled. Wink wink, nudge nudge.
Nevermind that I'm a fraternity official sitting right there. Nevermind that the chapter has had repeated risk management violations and is currently awaiting a judicial sanction from the university. Nevermind that they are one step away from losing their charter. Nevermind that less than six months ago, this young man and other leaders in the room sat through a seminar called "The Ladder of Risk" that clearly outlined our national policies against collecting money for group purchase of alcohol.
When I gave him a look, he said, "It's a tailgate. What do you expect?"
Well, I expect you to follow the rules, even when you don't really want to. At what point did this very nice young man learn that rules and regulations are optional? Did his parents teach him, directly or indirectly? Did his peers teach it to him? Did the fraternity teach it to him? Has he never suffered a negative consequence for breaking rules? Is he just an enormous risk taker? Did his brothers put the expectation to break the rules on him when they gave him the job of organizing the event?
Is the rule breaker mentality just part of the package with students today? Hell, in my college days, we broke rules, too. But, at least we tried to be sneaky about it. Sometimes, it seems like students brazenly break rules and then dare you to hand down consequences.
I could have lowered the hammer right there, but I didn't. I want to see if someone (anyone!) in the chapter takes the initiative to do the right thing. It will be interesting to see how the next two weeks play out for these guys...
