Thanks for the feedback

I deleted my previous post on the blog.

I was asked to write something about common mistakes that interns make that lead to negative references. I couldn't find a fun or interesting way to write about it, so I wrote it as if I was writing to the worst intern someone could ever have. It wasn't based on anyone real. I turned my "id" loose, exaggerated and tried to have some fun with it.

But clearly, a good number of people didn't get the joke. I think most of the people who disliked the post thought that it was about a real person (it wasn't). One nice man called me a "moron" on a professional listserve. Another said he wouldn't be writing any more checks to my company.

Point taken. So, to satisfy the critics, here is the less imaginative version.

- Don't spend a lot of time on Facebook or texting your friends.
- Don't wait for work to be brought to you. Find work.
- Seek out ways to make an impact. Show initiative.
- Make people's work lives easier because you were there.
- Be careful to not let negative personal behavior come into the workplace.
- Don't let your sexual life or your partying come to the attention of your boss or coworkers.
- Stay focused and productive to the final moments of your internship.
- Dress nicely.

There. Nice, unoffensive, and no one calling me a moron.

To anyone offended by my previous post, my apologies.

This blog is a place for some free flow of ideas. My ideas. I don't write this on behalf of any organization, my company, or anyone else affiliated with me. I'm not writing it for student affairs professionals... I'm writing it for students who crave an honest perspective on the issues that affect them and their organizations the most.

Frequently, I don't agree with my Thursday posting by Saturday. Those of us who think of ourselves as writers have a basic need to put the thought down – good, bad and nutty – in a censorship free place. This blog is my place for that.

If I occasionally get people thinking and talking, then all the better.

I'm headed out for a much needed vacation. The blog will resume in a couple of weeks. For those who enjoy it, thanks for visiting.

Commencement Speech

Go start a fire.

It's a strange piece of advice, coming from the son of a firefighter. But, that's what I want you to do. Leave this place and go start a fire.

Gather everything you've done to this point into a big pile and light it ablaze. It's only purpose now is to provide fuel and energy. Create a fire that warms others and sets the darkest places alight. Start a fire that comforts, and spreads, and guides.

Remember that fire can also destroy, so tend your fire and burn it responsibly. That said, toss on something explosive now and then, because a fire is more interesting when it crackles than when it smolders.

There will be times when tending makes you tired, and it's nice to have others who help you keep things burning. Add to theirs, too, because there's far too much for any single one of us to burn.

Most of all, remember that fire is unpredictable. You can shape your fate no more than you can shape the flames. And someday, when only ashes remain, pray that they nourish and bring new life. For in that way, your fire will have shaped the landscape.

Go from here, and start a fire. You have everything you need. There is no need to be afraid.

Happy graduation.

Anti-Greek Week, Pt. 2

I got an email today from a young man who is a member of Theta Chi at Purdue. He read my "Anti-Greek Week" posting this week, and he wanted me to know that in spite of the negative press this week of the drug-dealing Theta Chi's at San Diego State University, he is proud to be a member of his fraternity. He also wanted me to know that his chapter was a very good chapter that was ashamed of the "brothers" who earned national headlines this week.

So, let me go on record... we all have some shitty chapters.

This week, it was Theta Chi and Pi Kappa Alpha's turns to get a black eye. Next week, it will be someone else. A month from now, it will be my fraternity. No one group corners the market on dumb asses.

Theta Chi is an outstanding national fraternity, Kenny. (Thanks for reading)

Again, my point... We need to be more aggressive in weeding out the losers among our members. We can't wait for the DEA, local law enforcement, and the coroner to do it for us.

Unfortunately, I am consistently disappointed by the leadership of most national fraternities who would rather play the odds that troubled chapters will avoid deaths, arrests, and scandal than confront the abuses that exist.

A national fraternity is more likely to close a chapter for dwindling numbers or mounting debt than for hazing, drugs, or sexual misconduct.

A national fraternity officer emailed me this week after my post and said, "We are not in the business of closing chapters, we're in the business of opening chapters."

I'm not advocating we throw the baby out with the bathwater. But, I'm kind of big on throwing out the bathwater instead of continuing to sit in it.

Let them know you got the message

Have you ever written a message to people that you thought was interesting or important, and then you get absolutely no feedback? You have no idea if people read your email, got your voice message, or received the card you sent?

A perfectly good idea or suggestion dies a quiet, unacknowledged death.

This is something that happens to me almost every day. Managing a team of 35 speakers and a staff of 7, I often throw out something and it falls completely dead. Or, so I think. I have no way to know, because people don't acknowledge most of the communication that they receive these days.

I suppose it would be a lot of work to acknowledge everything, but I sure like it when someone sends a message that says something like, "Thanks for that info!" or "That's cool, thanks!" It just lets me know that my effort was worthwhile. It tells me that I was heard, and I like that feeling.

When your advisor or one of your officers/members sends out something they thought would be interesting or helpful to you, give them a quick reply. It doesn't take a lot of time, and it makes them feel appreciated. You don't have to write a paragraph response to everything. But a quick "thanks" let's them know they were heard.

Of course, some people send out way too much email, and it would be impossible and massively time consuming to acknowledge everything they send. One of my speakers sends out a lot of info, and I'll admit that I haven't been great about acknowledging every one of her emails.

When this happens, encourage the person to start a blog. It's a great place to dump lots of random knowledge without bugging people. Then, you can watch that counter on your blog and get a measure of satisfaction that someone is reading.

Look, I'm about to hit 12,000. How cool is that?

Anti-Greek Week

Don't you just love these weeks when our fellow Greeks make us all look horrible?

"Hall of Shame" to the Pi Kappa Alpha members at Tulane University in New Orleans who doused their new members with boiling water, cayenne pepper and vinegar. Guess the boys were just having a little CRAB BOIL! Unfortunately, two of the pledges have been treated for second and third degree burns on their backs, chests, buttocks and genitals. Ten Pikes have been brought up on aggravated assault charges as a result, and the university has suspended the chapter. Read more here.

Here's the best quote. New Orleans attorney Frank D'Amico, who represents one of the burn victims, said, "The ones who screamed first didn't get burned as badly." Pray these Pike brothers get what's coming to them.

And a big congrats to the drug-dealin' Theta Chi's at San Diego State University. I guess the best time to get a deal on some cocaine is right before an SDSU fraternity formal. The boys put out an advertisement to their regular customers (surprise! some were DEA agents!), letting them know that they would be going to Vegas for formal and that the "market" would be closed for a couple of days.

Campus police, local law enforcement, and the DEA initiated a huge drug bust, netting guns, tens of thousands in cash, stashes of drugs (coke, marijuana, meth, mushrooms, the gamut). In all, 75 SDSU students were arrested. Theta Chi has been suspended, as have Lambda Chi Alpha, Phi Kappa Psi, Sigma Alpha Mu, and Sigma Alpha Epsilon – all for having members involved in an illegal drug ring. The whole story of Operation Sudden Fall is amazing – read it all here.

Yeah, yeah. I know. The bad decisions of a few shouldn't reflect on all Greeks or on those particular national groups implicated in this week's events.

And, if you're even thinking of writing me and saying, "Aren't they innocent until proven guilty?" The answer is no, and get a fucking clue. Pledges don't self inflict third degree burns, and brotherhood events don't require partnerships with Mexican drug cartels. These little shits deserve felony records.

It's difficult to read these stories, and ask, "Why do Greeks have such a bad image?"

Ladies and gentlemen, Greeks have widespread problems with illegal drugs and hazing. This week's news stories are just a hint of what's going on. Let's just get our heads out of our asses and admit it. Oh, and we have a huge problem with alcohol, too, but that's not news, is it?

Instead of seeking tax deductibility for housing donations, how about a statement from the North-American Interfraternity Conference (NIC), signed by all the national fraternities, pledging to immediately shutter any and all chapters that knowingly tolerate hazing or illegal drugs in their chapters. Zero tolerance.

It's time for the men running national fraternities to start growing some testicles and act. But they are cowardly and afraid of their insurance providers, so they won't.

Until we start aggressively confronting hazing, drugs, and other obnoxious behavior in our fraternities and sororities, we deserve every single insult thrown at us. Good men and women will keep their distance from any involvement with their fraternity or sorority because they don't want to diminish their standing in their community by admitting their affiliation.

Today, I'm ashamed to be a member of a fraternity, and I don't want my son to join one. Talk that one over at UIFI this summer.

Wave goodbye to your advisor...

Summer is a big transition time for people in Student Affairs. It's almost impossible to find a job in November or February, but it seems like the whole damn field turns over every June. If you are a student reading this, that means that there is a chance that you might arrive back on campus in August and see some new faces in the advisor chairs.

Sometimes you know this is happening, and other times it's a complete surprise.

If you know your advisor is leaving, then be sure to stay in touch with them after they leave. They will probably be very happy to remain a resource for you after they've left for their new job. This is why God created Mark Elliott Zuckerberg in 1984, and Mark created Facebook.

If you know your advisor is leaving, then you need to stay in touch with your Student Activities Office (or the Dean, whatever) over the summer, and find out when a replacement has been hired. Be one of the first to welcome your new advisor to his or her new job. Getting to know your new advisor and developing that relationship will be absolutely key to your success next year.

The important thing is to not be caught by surprise. If you're going away for the summer, stay in touch with the people working in your student life office so you can stay apprised of any personnel changes. They happen suddenly – you never know who is going to leave – and you want to be able to stay "in the know" as a student leader. All of these changes affect you.

By the way, I have no idea what this image is, but it's a bunch of people waving goodbye, which felt representational of this gypsy tribe we call student affairs professionals.