Creating dialogue about slurs on campus

BITCH! NIGGER! FAGGOT!

If you were walking around the Rollins College (FL) campus in early November, you would have seen words like these on flyers and on the front page of the student newspaper (above). If seeing the slurs caused the hairs on the back of your neck to rise – well, that's the point, said Mahjabeen Rafiuddin, the college's new Director of Multicultural Affairs.

The community at Rollins had experienced some incidents involving slurs and cultural insensitivity early in the semester. Additionally, Rafiuddin had noticed many women casually using the word "bitch," referring to other women. She decided that it was time to open a dialogue on campus about slurs, their impact, and their varying levels of offensiveness.

On November 11, the Office of Multicultural Affairs hosted a campus program called "Diversity Dialogue" to give students the opportunity to discuss the impact of slurs in their community. To publicize the program, the OMA and its student leaders created flyers picturing pop culture celebrities who have used slurs.

It definitely got the campus' attention.

"I have a passion for creating dialogue about these controversial issues," Rafiuddin told me. "I wanted to see if we could have a civilized conversation about a very controversial issue."

Papering a relatively conservative, mostly-white private college campus with incindiery slurs was welcomed by some who felt the conversation was overdue. Others questioned Rafiuddin's professional judgment and accused her of trying to provoke in order to boost attendance at her event.

"Our campus is about creating global citizens and leaders," she said. "I wanted to ask the question: Do responsible student leaders use slurs to demean or subjugate others? Is this what global citizens do?"

Still, it felt like a bold move for a professional who had been on campus less than six months.

Knowing that the promotional tactic might ruffle some feathers, Rafiuddin sent an email to the college faculty before the promotional flyers appeared. In the email, she let them know the program's purpose with a very "academic" description of the program's goals and desired outcomes.

Still, some on campus were unhappy when the emails (with attachments of the flyers) appeared in their campus email boxes. One staff member wrote a very angry email to Rafiuddin. This person said that any email which might cause discomfort when opened in an office setting shouldn't be sent. The writer chided Rafiuddin for her "lapse in judgment."

Given the opportunity to do it again, Rafiuddin said she would do it. While it jarred some members of the community, it brought home the importance of the discussion.

"It's hard to have an honest conversation about slurs and be politically correct," Rafiuddin said. "As a campus, we needed to talk about how slurs are commonly used, how context matters, and why it's such a big deal," Rafiuddin said.

If you'd like to learn more about Rollins College's "Diversity Dialogues," please email Mahjabeen Rafiuddin at MRAFIUDDIN@Rollins.edu.

Three ways to serve

We hear a lot about "service" on today's campus. How rewarding it is. How needed it is. How consistent with our organization's values it is. But, when you or your organization decides to serve, how are you going to actually do it? How can you do it in such a way that it makes the most impact?

This might help to frame your plan. There are three kinds of service.

FUND RAISING
All organizations need funds to operate, and in this struggling economy, the needs are huge. You can help a great deal by finding ways to generate much needed money for an organization you support. It doesn't have to be a huge amount to make a big difference. You can raise funds by having events (large or small), writing letters asking for donations, or by providing services for free that businesses would pay for (stuffing envelopes, cleaning parking lots, etc.).

One of the very best fund raisers I remember from my days as a student was a "skip a meal" fund raiser. Instead of eating out or eating in the dining hall one evening, everyone would donate the money they would have spent on dinner to the designated charity. We raised a ton of cash and had zero overhead costs.

But, be careful. Many students use fund raising as an excuse for having a fun event (party for a cause, tournaments for a good cause, etc.). It seems like a good idea – let's have fun and do some good along the way. But, as a general rule, if you're not raising 10 times what you're spending on a fund raising event, then you can do better. Blowing $2,000 on a tournament that raises $500 is a joke (just give the organization the $2,000). Spending $500 on an event that raises $5,000 for a charity is awesome.

It usually helps to identify a need at the organization and then do a bunch of small fund raisers throughout the semester or year to meet the goal. For example, find out how much it will cost to renovate that playground at the local school, then set that amount as a long-range goal. Don't try to do it all in one event.

VOLUNTEERISM
Get your hands dirty. Spend time actually doing something that helps others. Examples of volunteerism can be as varied as reading to seniors in a nursing home, picking up trash along a highway, painting the local rec center, building a ramp for a person with disabilities, or handing out programs at your campus theatre production. No money is involved. You're just lending your most valuable and readily-available resource: your effort. Many people find this type of service to be the most personally rewarding. Once you find out how much it's going to cost to replace the playground equipment at the local school, figure out how much you can save in labor by rounding up a group of students to do the work themselves alongside licensed contractors. Now you're really on to something!

AWARENESS
This type of service allows for a lot of creativity without necessarily spending a ton of money. Find an issue that you care about, and then find a way to get the word out. Chalk the sidewalks. Do a ribbon campaign. Put flyers on cars. Film public service announcements or radio spots. Make presentations to classes, faculty meetings, or administrators. Write letters to your local newspaper. There are a million ways you can generate awareness on a critical issue. It's a great idea to do an awareness campaign BEFORE you do a fund raiser. This way, people are tuned into the need and the issue. Do members of your campus community know how run-down the playground equipment is at the local school? Take pictures, post them online. Get people fired up about improving schools that are struggling for dwindling public funds.

Just about anything you care about can be helped by using all three elements: fund raising, volunteerism and awareness. As you sit down with your officers or committee dedicated to service projects, make sure you develop a comprehensive plan for the year that includes all three. Tie them in together, and maximize your impact.

I've just been SO busy!

How many times have you heard this in the last month? It's become the regular excuse for just about everything. Sorry I didn't call you. Sorry I didn't reply to that email. Sorry I've been out of touch. Sorry I forgot your birthday. Sorry I haven't been able to come to any of your meetings. Sorry I didn't call you after our date.

I've just been SO busy...

When you claim "being busy," you're basically saying, "It hasn't been my priority."

The people who are "so busy" (and presumably, more busy than you or I) have had time to do a million small things that are more important than satisfying you. Fair or not, you aren't their priority.

In some cases, they've been so intensely busy, they have barely had time to grab a meal here and there. But, often, it's just a convenient excuse for not prioritizing YOU. They've had time to play video games, watch television, check their Facebook.

If someone told them to stop by to pick up an apple pie, they'd find time. If that special someone made a booty call, they'd be right over. If their boss told them to work an extra hour or be fired, they would do it. If someone offered to clean their house, they'd have time to drive the key over.

We make time for the things we care about. If that person actually cared about answering your question or doing that small favor for you, they would have found time. It's that simple. When someone says, "I've been busy," what they mean is, "You haven't been my priority." But, "Things have been crazy lately!" sounds so much less offensive.

If you have someone who keeps giving you the excuse, it's time to deal with the fact that he or she is not likely to make you a priority.

And, if you're the one who is always saying it, time to stop. Instead of saying, "I'm sorry, I've just been so busy," say something more honest, such as:

"You know, I'm a jerk for not getting back to you, I'm sorry. I'll do it by tomorrow afternoon."

"I really don't have time to make that a priority. Maybe you should find someone else."

"I've been under a lot of stress lately and I have been forgetting a lot of things lately."

Or maybe even, "Yeah, don't hold your breath on that one."

Facebook is forever

From CNN. Another reminder that when your friends tag you on Facebook, it's pretty much a done deal:

(CNN) — Jon Favreau, future White House director of speechwriting, has so far been at a loss for words over Facebook pictures of him at a recent party.

Pictures of Favreau, 27, at a recent party appeared on Facebook Friday. In one of the photos, Favreau, who served as President-elect Barack Obama’s chief speechwriter during the campaign season, was dancing with a life-sized cardboard cut-out of future secretary of state Hillary Clinton. In a second photo, a friend was offering the cutout a bottle of beer while Favreau stood beside the likeness with his hand on the cardboard New York senator’s chest.

The picture was reportedly up for a scant two hours or so before Favreau removed it, along with every other picture of himself beyond his profile photo — but there’s no getting the Facebook genie back in the bottle.

Favreau wasn’t talking to reporters about the incident, but transition officials said he had offered an apology to Clinton.

The Clinton camp reaction? "Sen. Clinton is pleased to learn of Jon's obvious interest in the State Department, and is currently reviewing his application," Clinton aide Philippe Reines told the Washington Post.

Amethyst Initiative, Choose Reponsibility, an update

I've written before about the Amethyst Initiative, a group of 134 college and university presidents and chancellors who signed a statement that, basically, says that the 21-over drinking age isn't working. This weekend at the Association of Fraternity Advisors annual meeting in Denver, I had the opportunity to sit in on two sessions that focused on the debate over whether the federal government should dictate a drinking age. Both featured Dr. John M. McCardell Jr., President Emeritus of Middlebury College (VT).

As you can guess, there are a lot of strong opinions about whether the legal drinking age should be 18, 21, or something else. McCardell is on the board of directors of Choose Responsibility, a group who believes it should be 18. Not everyone who has supported the Amethyst Initiative necessarily believes 18 is the magic number... they just think that 21 isn't working.

People in higher education are not sure how to politically dance on this one. If you question the 21-year-old drinking age, then you run the risk of being accused of supporting alcohol abuse and the negative consequences that brings. At the sessions, I spoke to many attendees who personally think the 21-year-old drinking age is a ridiculous federal mandate but who did not feel they could ever publicly take a stance. National fraternity staff members are even less likely to invite themselves into the public relations fray – many in the public would expect fraternity folks to be all for easier drinking.

Drew Hunter of the BACCHUS Network stressed that his organization has not formed a statement on the issue, and he also acknowledged that as a recipient of federal Department of Transportation dollars, he sits in an unusually tight spot on this issue. It was interesting when Hunter said that lowering the age would, without a doubt, cause drinking rates to increase among high school age kids. McCardell agreed, but said that's why any return to a younger drinking age would have to be matched by aggressive alcohol education. McCardell even supports a license of some sort (that didn't make any sense to me whatsoever).

You get the drift of the debate...

For me, it just comes down to fairness. Choose Responsibility points out that at age 18 in this country, you can fight a war, adopt children, own property, sue or be sued, hold public office, purchase firearms, smoke, gamble, buy lottery tickets, or buy a house. But, you can't have a legal drink. As simplistic as that argument is, it has always worked for me.

The 21-year-old drinking age came about in the 70's when the Congress passed a highway bill that denied any state 10-percent of its share of federal transportation funds unless it changed its drinking age to 21. Naturally, they all did it, because none of them wanted to lose tens of millions of annual dollars for roads. A state could change their law tomorrow, if they wanted to.

In essence, this federal government blackmail took away the states' right to make up their minds based on the will of their citizens. It doesn't sit right with me. If Utah wants to make their drinking age 30 and Louisiana wants to make it 16, then I think that's a discussion for the voters of those states.

By the way, only four nations in the world dictate a 21+ drinking age: the United States, Mongolia, Indonesia and Palau. Good company, huh?

I also believe that the groups that use the emotional pull of drunk driving prevention (that's you, MADD) are completely ignoring the deaths, the sexual assaults, the injuries, and the massive irresponsibility that is resulting from the 21-year-old drinking age. Anyone who works on a campus will tell you that too much time is spent dealing with enforcing the drinking age, and too many scary injuries and deaths are occuring because students who want to drink always find a way and then do it in a dangerous way. Whenever I hear a student getting ready for his or her 21st birthday, my neck muscles tense up, and I beg them to be careful.

MADD and other organizations like theirs seem to think that the lives they save on the roads are a fair trade for these others.

In any case, I encourage you to take a few moments and consider the issue for yourself. I don't normally support too many political action-type organizations, but I sent a check today to Choose Responsibility. I'm the father of a 15-year-old son, and while I'm not eager for him to start drinking, I also would prefer that he enter a world with a lot less reckless abuse of alcohol. I have a difficult time believing that most people who work with college students would disagree with me, but maybe I'm wrong.

The federal highway bill is coming up for reauthorization in 2009, so the timing is right for this issue to be picked up by the media. With all the veterans coming back from the Middle East starting in 2009, I am sure the "can fight the Taliban, but can't have a beer" argument is going to get attention.

The bill needs to be reauthorized with the federal drinking age stipulation removed. Let's let the decisions happen at the state level, where they belong. I'm going to be writing to my Congressional delegation encouraging them to at least give this a fair argument.


Kudos, by the way, to AFA for having the courage to put this on their educational program. I was very impressed that Richard Celeste, former governor of Ohio, former U.S. Ambassador to India, and now president of Colorado College was one of the session participants. He is one of the signers of the Amethyst Initiative.