New Year's Resolutions for the Student Leader

Will you resolve...

... to improve communication with your advisor? A few more check-in calls or emails, a scheduled sit down from time to time?

... to stay within your budget? And if you don't have a budget, prioritize setting one up while the year is new? And make sure that your treasurer is doing his or her job well.

... to better motivate your fellow officers? Remember that some fun, casual time can go a long way toward making everyone feel important and connected. All work and no play makes you a boring president.

... to put new life in your meetings? Mix it up. Running an interesting, meaningful meeting is part of your job description. If this sort of creativity isn't your thing, ask a creative friend to help you out with this.

... to invest in the people in your life who have nothing to do with your student leadership position? Don't ignore your parents, your friends who aren't part of the group, your significant other. Someday your leadership role will end. Will those people still like you?

... to reach out to those who annoy you? Nothing will improve your personal leadership experience than finding a way to tone down those who annoy you. Best way to do that? Reach out to them, listen to their concerns, brainstorm productive ideas with them, get them involved in a useful capacity.

... to step outside of your comfort zone a bit more? Go attend a program on campus that has NOTHING to do with your day to day "must do list." Participate on an intramural team. Go to an arts program. Pepper your calendar with some different and cool stuff. You're only in college once, don't forget that you're supposed to be expanding your horizons a bit.

... to study more intelligently? This might mean a few more trips to a quiet corner of one of the least used libraries on your campus. Maybe it means finding a tutor. Remember why you're in school in the first place. Do what it takes to keep those grades up.

... get off the computer? Instead of spending hours on Facebook or MySpace, actually get out and interact with people. Poking people is way more fun in person!!

... set some personal goals? Yeah, you've got lots of goals for your officer term, but what would you like to achieve personally? Don't forget that stuff. It's important.

... update your resume before you have to? If you haven't spent time with this in a while, resolve to make some time for it.

... make healthier choices? Most of us do at least one thing that is very unhealthy, so make yourself a promise to do at least one less this year. Quit smoking, be the designated driver more often, always use a condom, get off that prescription, get more exercise.


Being a student leader is a great experience, but the difference between a good experience and a great experience is approaching it deliberately. Take advantage of the start of the new year to focus yourself and enter the new semester with determination and a positive attitude.

Toss it, ditch it, burn it, recycle it, shred it

It's the new year and retail stores are frantically promoting things to help you get organized. Watch your local Target or Walmart. Everything that you need to organize, file, store and sort is on sale in the next couple of weeks. New year's resolutions to "get organized" are second only to "do something about my fat ass."

So I imagine many student leaders will come back a day or two early from holiday break, look at their messy office, desk or cube, and start craving a higher level of organization. We "Type A's" really get off on the idea of putting things in order. But, before you dump a bunch of cash into file cabinets, expandable files, and storage cubbies, I want to encourage you to take greater advantage of that "round file" that is emptied once a week for you.

Say "yes" to your trash can. Embrace it. Make it your friend.

In Student Affairs, we save too much crap. Do you really need to keep those award applications from three years ago? That stack of posters from the dance in 2004? How many evenings have you and your fellow officers spent popping popcorn, breaking open a couple bottles of wine, waxing romantic about the recruitment statistics from 2002? Yeah, none. Throw the crap out.

If it hasn't been touched in the last year, it's not going to be touched THIS year. Throw it out. If it's half broken, toss it out. If it's gathering dust, dump it. If it's sitting in some ancient unlabeled box at the bottom of a closet, it's not critical.

In my office, we have about 30 magazine holders. Someone at some point thought it would be a great way to organize something. I don't remember. All I know is that I have 30 clear, plastic, empty magazine holders clogging up the shelves of our store room. So, I threw the damn things out. "Can't we use these for something?" one of my staffers asked? "They're in perfect shape!"

I gave her 10 minutes to think of a use, and then I threw them out. It felt great. I love throwing crap away. I hate clutter.

Don't go rent a storage unit for your crap. Don't box it up and stack it in the corner. Throw it out. When you don't know what all the stuff in that drawer is, it's not important. Toss it.

If you're worried about pissing someone off -- like the historian or that officer that loves making scrapbooks -- give them a week to clear the stuff out before you start filling the dumpster. Maybe even set up a table with a sign that says, "If you want this, take it. Otherwise it's going in the trash in 3 days."

Toss it. Ditch it. Burn it. Recycle it. Shred it. Just get rid of it.

Happy Christmas Week

Don't worry. I've already called Child Protective Services on my friend Chad Ellsworth from the University of Minnesota and reported this abuse of his son, Joey.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas week.

Programming for Spring semester

We get a lot of questions about "awareness weeks." Everyone likes to program around awareness weeks, even though most of us have no idea why these observances exist at the time of year that they do.

January and February are big for multicultural awareness programs, with MLK Day and Black History Month. On most campuses, you'll see at least one or two programs aimed at issues affecting the African-American community, even though many dislike the concept of limiting these discussions to one month a year. Because of that, we're seeing lots of programs aimed at a variety of multicultural appreciation programs in February. We have a program on religious diversity that is getting many bookings, which I find exciting.

February is also a big month for "healthy relationships" and safer sex programming, thanks to Valentine's Day. Because March is Spring Break month, we also do a lot of pre-Spring Break bookings at the end of February on issues surrounding alcohol, sexual decision making, sexual assault prevention, and impaired driving prevention.

March also brings Women's History Month, which means lots of programs on sexual assault prevention, women's achievement and motivation, and Panhellenic programs. We also book a lot of programs on issues surrounding eating disorders and body image for women in March.

Tip: If you're booking a speaker for March, be sure to know when your Spring Break is. You'd be shocked how many people book speakers with us, then call and reschedule because they booked the speaker during their Spring Break. Also, avoid the Monday immediately following your Spring Break, and avoid the NCAA Final Four basketball championship game nights.

April is not a big month for awareness week programming in the college market, but there are tons of Greek Life bookings in April thanks to Greek Weeks. It seems that by April, everyone's starting the slide to summer and it's a bit harder to get audiences together.

The Spring is big for speakers on "leadership" topics since most student organizations have new officers.

Here's one big piece of advice for Spring programming: get creative on the spaces you use. If you haven't reserved rooms early, it's hard to get programming spaces on a lot of campuses this time of year. If you're booking a speaker, call the office that books the rooms and get a list of available open dates BEFORE you call to book a speaker. We get lots of cancellations this time of year because people book speakers, then find out there's nowhere to put them. Don't be afraid to get creative though: cafeterias in residence halls, outdoor venues, sports facilities, etc. I once did a program on a racquetball court, no joke.

Is it OK to say "Merry Christmas?"

I celebrate Christmas even though I am not a Christian. When people talk about the "reason for the season," I assume they are talking about the open bar at the company holiday party.

But, I get into the Christmas trees (mine's 9-foot, thank you very much), the green and the red, the lights on the house, and the gift giving. Some Christians get excited about their religion kicking every other religion's ass and they get a little high and mighty this time of year. I'm a Christmas junkie, but I just like that people are nicer to each other and there's a pleasant distraction from the regular crap that taxes my mind. Oh, and I really like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Like, a lot.

Today, I was writing an email to my speakers team, and I wrote "Merry Christmas" at the end. Before I hit send, I had a typical white, liberal reaction: "Oh wait, I can't say Merry Christmas because it might offend someone."

I went ahead and did it anyway. Earlier in the month, I signed off with "Happy Hannukah" in consideration of our Jewish team members, and no one raised a fuss. So happens, it's time for my holiday, so I wished everyone a "Merry Christmas." Hopefully, no one will get bent out of shape.

This issue always gets a lot of press this time of the year. Wal-Mart made a big stink last year by "bringing back Christmas" in its store decorations. Campuses ban Christmas trees in public spaces. Some county gets in trouble for a nativity scene at the courthouse. Good old Mike Huckabee is reminding everyone about the birth of Jesus in his Iowa campaign ads. Can't wait for his ads celebrating MLK Day in January. Those should be cool.

If anyone would like to wish me a Blessed Ramadan when that time comes, I'll take it. I'll take all the happy wishes I can get. Let's celebrate everything. I'll wish you a "Happy Whatever I'm Celebrating" and you can wish me a "Blessed Whatever You're Celebrating." And, we'll all be a little better for it.

Tip of the day, courtesy Roger Clemens' attorney

From CNN today:

(CNN) -- A lawyer for Roger Clemens strongly denies the seven-time Cy Young Award winner used steroids to pump up his body and his pitching statistics.

Roger Clemens has won seven Cy Young Awards pitching for several teams, including the New York Yankees.

Clemens, considered a shoo-in for the Baseball Hall of Fame someday, was prominently featured in the report on performance-enhancing drugs that former Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell released Thursday.

"Roger Clemens adamantly, vehemently, and whatever other adjectives can be used, denies that he has ever used steroids or ... improper substances," Clemens' attorney, Rusty Hardin said Thursday.

Tip of the Day: If you're going to be a spokesman for anyone, learn the language in which you will be speaking to the public. "Adamantly" and "vehemently" are adverbs.

You just came out on Facebook, no wait...

I have a lot of gay fraternity men on my Facebook friends list. Well, not really. Sure, their profiles say they are interested in men, list their boyfriends, and list things like shaving their chests, wearing Speedos, and listening to Coldplay in their activities. But these seemingly gay men are really just victims of their brothers' teasing.

There's a new prank that is rampant on Facebook. Find one of your friends or fraternity brothers who has left his computer logged on to his Facebook account, and go in and change all his personal information to reflect homosexual orientation. Not a nudist, or a porn star, or a Republican (that would be funny), but a homosexual. Really original, and completely hysterical, right?

One of my students at Colorado State (let's call him Mark) was the first victim I noticed. When I saw the changes of status, I thought, "Well, good for Mark." Like a dumb ass, I sent him an encouraging message.

Since then, I've seen it on about a dozen profiles linked to me. It's all over the country. I frequently laugh at the creativity and depravity. Frankly, I wish my life were as gay as some of the profiles I've been reading!

But, what bugs me is that fraternity men who might be coping with sexual orientation issues once again get the message that their situation is a source of ridicule. What comes off as a silly, harmless prank to most fraternity men is truly chilling for that man who is contemplating coming out to his brothers, his family, or other friends. If "liking other guys" is the best way you can think of to humiliate and poke fun at your brothers, then why should I trust that I would be treated with respect and dignity by you if being gay is my reality?

I had a chance to do a member review at Mark's chapter shortly after the prank, and I asked the man who made the profile changes if he thought that a brother who was really coming out would feel supported and welcome in his chapter? He said yes, of course. Who wants to admit they are homophobic and insensitive?

But since the incident, the pranks continue. Just today, I noticed one man posting on the other's wall, "You look especially gay in your profile picture." I literally can't wait until one of the men in the chapter stands up and tells his brothers he's sick of the jokes and that he's bringing his boyfriend to formal. Can't wait.

Talking down about others cheapens you

I was at a professional conference recently, and I heard two women talking to each other as they were passing our CAMPUSPEAK exhibit booth. "Oh, I guess she's a CAMPUSPEAK person now," one said in a snippy, critical tone. I know one of the women pretty well, so I stopped them, and I asked whom they were talking about.

Naturally, they hemmed and hawed, embarrassed that I had overheard them. I had caught them being catty. "Her," they finally said, motioning toward the woman standing about 20 feet away, back turned to us. "She thinks she's all that," they said about one of my facilitators. They said a couple of other things about her that aren't worth repeating here, but suffice to say the additional comments were about personal physical traits they didn't like.

I suppose I could have launched into a huge, passionate confrontation in defense of my facilitator. In my opinion, the woman they were talking about is ALL THAT and a one-pound bag of M&M's. But, it wasn't the time or place to prove a point, so I used humor to deflect the situation. "Y'all need to be nice. You're just jealous because she and I are sleeping together," I scolded. That got a good laugh. They chuckled, and moved on.

But, as the weeks have passed, the brief encounter has left a nasty taste in my mouth. I have to admit that the incident really lowered my opinion of the two women involved. Weeks later, that small incident sticks with me.

It's shocking that these women were walking around bashing other professionals like they were in a scene from Mean Girls. These are women who are charged with advising student leaders on their campuses.

I tell this story on the blog today, because I want the student readers of this blog to know a couple of things: (1) your advisors make many of the same mistakes you do, and (2) criticizing others, particularly in a gossipy way, cheapens you.

Most of us have done it. We think we're in a safe place with friends, or we're getting lippy after a few beers, and we start getting liberal with our criticisms. Lord knows, I've had a couple of Jack & Cokes and made a couple of uncharitable comments about a haircut or two, particularly when I'm hanging with "the girls." We say nasty things about others – even in the context of joking – to make ourselves seem cooler or funnier.

What you don't realize is that the criticism and nasty comments stick in people's heads. They might chuckle at the moment it's said. They might even seem to agree with you, but days and weeks later, their opinion of you is diminished.

In the fraternity and sorority world, we call it "dirty rushing" – talking badly about another group to try to make yours look better by comparison. You learn pretty quickly that it almost always backfires and makes you and your group look like schmucks. The same holds true in just about any other context. If you are slamming others to build yourself up, it speaks volumes to your own lack of self esteem and dignity.

Last chance to nominate...

Last chance to nominate your favorite agency, speakers and other campus entertainers for the Campus Activities Magazine Reader's Choice Awards. To nominate someone, go here.

CAMPUSPEAK has won "Agency of the Year" for three of the last four years.

You can nominate anyone or any agency you feel is most deserving. You need to be a campus based professional or student to submit a nomination. Thanks.

Something Oprah said...

Oprah Winfrey was busy this weekend stumping for Democratic presidential contender Barack Obama in Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina. You can watch her entire speech here.

She said something about "apathy" in her speech that naturally caught my ear. Speaking about her past ambivalence about politicians and elections, she admitted that she had become apathetic about politics, and she said:

"Apathy is the attitude that disappointment is normal."

I thought that was a great quote. Give it some thought, as I have, and I think you'll see that's it a pretty insightful statement. How easily we choose not to care rather than face the continuous disappointment we feel when change won't come, when the status quo leaves us dissatisfied, when our low expectations are regularly met.

"Apathy is the attitude that disappointment is normal."

Good quote. Thanks, Oprah.

To give a gift, or not to give a gift?

Gift giving is fun, right? You get nice things, you give nice things. Everyone's happy. Sadly, the whole dilemma of gift giving causes a lot of people stress this time of year. As a student leader, should you give your advisor a gift? How much should it cost? What about other advisors? Your fellow officers?

How far up the student affairs food chain do you go? Should you give something to the Dean? What if you get a little something from your advisor and you are totally broke and can't reciprocate?

I think, as a general rule, no one expects gifts from their students. We know you're broke, and this is an expensive time of year. You should be buying things for your family, friends, and that girl you've been sleeping with. Really, don't blow $10 on a Starbucks gift card for me.

I think nice hand-written cards are especially nice (yeah, nicer than that Facebook posting on my wall that says "Ho, ho, ho, Fat Boy!"). Write your advisor and your fellow leaders each a holiday card – yes, "holiday card." (Don't send a Christmas card to your Jewish advisor.). In the card, write a nice note about how much you enjoy working with him/her and a kind wish for a happy 2008. If you want to get really fancy, get a print made of a photo that he or she will enjoy – maybe one of the group, or of you and your advisor. In the world of digital photo sharing, an actual PRINT has become something special, and you can get those for about 20-cents at your local drug store.

If you are determined to spend money on an advisor or a fellow leader, then make it something cheap and personal. Don't go and blow a bunch of money on an Olive Garden gift card when you can put that photo print in a cute, cheap frame. Make it personal, and get creative. Those are the very best gifts.

This year, our company took all the money we would have spent on holiday cards and small gifts, and we bought three llamas for deserving families in poor countries via Heifer International. It's a really cool charity, and people enjoyed the gesture. Maybe you can give a small monetary gift to a local charity (or your school's foundation) in your advisor's name. They would think that was really thoughtful.

If you're going to spend money on anyone in your student leadership world, spend it on some vastly under-appreciated person, like your advisor's secretary, or the little dude who cleans up your student activities office every night. What about your mail carrier, the lady who works in the coffee shop downstairs, or the guy at the print and copy shop who saved your ass 10 times this semester.

Days you just don't program

One of my least enjoyable programs happened at Louisiana State University a few years ago. I was hired in to speak on a Monday night at 8 p.m. for a mandatory Interfraternity Conference educational session. All the men had to be there -- initiated members and pledges. Only problem: the New Orleans Saints were playing Monday Night Football, and opening kickoff was at 8.

The advisor wasn't a sports fan, and he didn't see the big deal. "The program's only an hour. It's not like they are going to miss the whole game," he said. Boy, did he miss the point. The men were so angry to be there, I could see them shooting daggers at me throughout the speech. I shortened the program, and when I ended it, they leapt out of their seats. They didn't even politely applaud. I did the very best I could, but I was set up to fail miserably.

I felt like Hillary at a Young Republicans meeting. It was ugly.

OK, so to help you avoid a similarly unfortunate situation, please check the following things before you plan a speaker or some other large event:

- Check your basketball schedule, particularly if you are at a school where people care about basketball. Or hockey, or women's lacrosse. Whatever sport your school cares about always takes precedent over all other events.

- Don't plan anything on Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Halloween, the night of the Academy Awards (Feb. 24, 2008, by the way), Superbowl Sunday (Feb. 3, 2008, by the way), or the NCAA March Madness Final Four or Final (March 21 and 23, 2008, by the way).

- Jewish holidays... people never plan anything on Easter or Christmas, but they'll damn well plan their leadership retreat over Yom Kippur. That's bad form. If you're not sure of Jewish holidays, just Google "2008 Jewish Holidays," then block those days off your calendar.

- Monday Night Football. Fraternities really like to sit around together, drink adult beverages, and burp while watching the game... any game. Plan your program so they have time to get back before it starts.

- The season finale of popular shows. I spoke once on the night of the season finale of Grey's Anatomy. The women and the gay men were pissed. First thing I said from the stage was, I hope somebody is recording Grey's or I'm going to kill myself! And, I put my hand on my hip while I said it. I managed to survive that program and even got some applause at the end. God forbid you speak at an engineering school on the night of the Heroes season finale. There could be violence.

There are probably more, but these are the big ones. Put these things in your programming calendar at the start of your term as an officer. A little time on a search engine and you can find out all of these "dates to avoid."

When do you step in and do the job yourself?

An interesting question from a student leader at Widener University this weekend. "When you see someone screwing up something for an event happening next week, should you step in and take over, or should you just allow them to fail?"

In this student's case, flyers were needed to publicize a special event next weekend. The group's previous event had been poorly attended because this same person waited too long to publicize the event. Now, it was happening again.

The president knew he could yank the task away from the procrastinating officer, but he also knew there would be drama if he did. Should he just do it and then deal with the drama? Or, should he give the person the benefit of the doubt and wait and see? Perhaps it will be done tomorrow or the next day -- just in time for the event. But, what if it's not? Will everyone blame the president for allowing the weak officer to fail at the same task twice?

I'm a fan of letting people screw things up from time to time. More things are learned from occasional failure than from organization presidents who spend all their time covering for incompetent subordinate leaders in the group. But for many student leaders, that's a scary gamble.

I advised him to have a meeting with the officer and demand immediate activity (like in the next 24 hours), or delegate the task to another person in the group. It might even be a good idea to do it in the presence of another officer. Ask the person if he/she needs help getting the task done. Perhaps this weak officer would love to pass it off to someone more competent.

When given the choice between "doing the work yourself" or "letting the job go undone," my advice is to step in aggressively with others in your organization, and get the task done. However, you can't let the officer who dropped the ball get away with it, and you need to put safeguards in place so it doesn't happen again. If someone has messed a task up once, it's incumbent upon you as the group leader to make sure that this person:

- Understands how and why the error was made
- Understands how to accomplish the task in a timely and appropriate way next time
- Understands clearly the deadlines for getting the task done

In retrospect, what this president should have done was to ask to see a draft of the event flyer two weeks in advance. If that deadline wasn't met, then it would have been a justified move to ask the officer to step aside or assign the critical task to someone else. Setting incremental deadlines in advance of a project or event is a great way to force a lazy or incompetent officer to show some positive movement before it becomes a crisis.

Dealing with underperforming officers or committee chairpersons is just part of the job. Your job as president is to make sure that the machine is running. That usually means keeping an eye on the performance of your workers far in advance of the critical times. Otherwise, you'll constantly be reacting to crisis after crisis.