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Something you might not know about the speaking business – many of us have to have a "Catholic version" of our programs. I was thinking about this today because the archbishop of San Antonio is raising hell about Hillary Clinton's scheduled appearance at St. Mary's University in San Antonio.
St. Mary's is a Catholic school. Jose Gomez, the archbishop, is unhappy about Clinton because of some of her stances – defending a woman's right to choose, gay rights, and more. So, Gomez is throwing some political weight around.
If you are going to speak at a Catholic school, you have to walk a fine line. The students and the professionals who work at these schools are desperate for educational and awareness-raising programs on vital topics surrounding health, sexuality, and diversity. But, they have to be careful not to piss off the higher-ups.
The Church, and therefore the college's high-level administrators, don't want you validating contraception, abortion, homosexuality, transgender, or premarital sex. They know full well that many of their students are directly struggling with these issues, but they aren't going to pay for an outsider to come in and say or do anything that contradicts the Church's teachings.
It's a tremendously difficult job for those student affairs professionals who are dancing a line of their own – keeping their bosses satisfied while trying to provide potentially life-saving information to their students. The stress it can cause a well-intentioned staff is off the charts.
However, take my word for it... it's difficult to give a decent HIV prevention program without talking about sex, homosexuality, or other behaviors outside the list of Catholic-endorsed activities.
Let me give you an example of what I mean by "doing the Catholic version." I couldn't say something like, "When you have sex, you should always use protection." At a public institution, a sentence like that would be taken as common sense and wouldn't register an ounce of controversy. At a Catholic school, it could cause big problems. I would have to say something like, "I know that some of you have friends who are making decisions to have sex before marriage, so I think it's important for you to know a few things so that you can give them the best advice relative to the decisions they make." I could briefly mention a condom as a less preferable option to abstinence, if I did it carefully. But, I damn well better not actually bring one out of my pocket as an illustration.
The students knew I was doing "the Catholic version." They would literally snicker at me as I did the verbal dancing. Sometimes, I felt like such a sellout. As a speaker, you do the Catholic version, dance as close to the line as you dare, and hope the students corner you after the program and ask about the stuff they really want to know.
Different schools had different levels of intensity. There is the Catholic school who recently called our offices and announced to us that they wouldn't hire a speaker if he was gay. It so happened that the speaker they were asking about was straight, but it still made me very, very angry. Then there was the school where a nun walked up to me after a program and chastised me for not talking more graphically about blow jobs. "They're doing the blow jobs," she told me. "You really need to talk more honestly about the blow jobs."
The blow jobs. True story, I swear. That nun was the Dean of Students, and I'm quite sure, a linebacker for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
For those of us who speak, it can be an ethical struggle. On one hand, the necessity of having a "Catholic version" makes me angry. Coming from a family that abandoned the Catholic Church (on both sides) more than a generation ago, it can feel kind of personal. My ego rants, "I can't escape the oppression!" But then, a voice inside my head calms me down. These students need good information – and sometimes, our "Catholic version" is the most honest presentation they are going to receive. Why should I, as a speaker, penalize students because I don't like or agree with the Pope?
In the years I was doing HIV prevention education, I visited dozens of Catholic schools. I did some good work at schools like Canisius, the University of Dayton, St. Mary's, the University of Dallas, St. Leo, Loyola Marymount, Tulane, and more. The emails I got from students there were some of the most touching I ever received.
In fairness – the Catholics had some messed up guidelines, but at least they were trying, and they gave me the chance to dance the line. I never once got invited to the likes of Baylor, Brigham Young, or Liberty University. The Baptists and the Mormons wouldn't let me within 50 miles of their campuses. No dancing with the Baptists.
So, it looks like Hillary is going to have to find her "Catholic version" and do some dancing in San Antonio. I wish her luck. Perhaps the dance comes more easily to a politician than it does to a hot-headed educator like me.
